Salvation A New Reality
by tmonkey726
Summary: Rose loses a part of her heart and sets off on a journey fueled by revenge. Along the way she meets a few people that may be able to put her heart and life together again.  Will she complete her journey and be able to move on?  More in the preview.
1. Chapter 1

**Salvation- A New Reality**

**Here is my newest story. It takes place after high school, the only similarity is that the attack at the school took place, but Christian was not a part of it. He comes into the story later. It is completely different from that though. I hope you all like it.**

**Richelle Mead owns all original VA.

* * *

**

**Preview**

I walked into the cavern, not sure what to expect. I wasn't told a lot of specifics, not a lot was known, pretty much that I would know when I saw what I was after. There was a stone altar sitting in the center of the cavern with what looked like a black rock levitating above it. As I got closer the nausea grew, but I knew I was alone, absolutely alone. My friends and crew were outside; I was the only one granted entrance.

I went up the stone steps that seemed to go on forever, not sure what to expect, but what came into view was definitely not what I thought I would see. As I inched closer to the "black rock", I noticed it wasn't a rock at all. It was a heart, black as night, and it was hovering above this altar, still beating.

* * *

**I hope you like it, Please read the next chapter and let me know what you think.**

**Review! Review! Review!  
**


	2. Finding Love

**Finding Love**

**I hope you will read this and enjoy it. **

**Thank you all for all your support.**

**Richelle Mead owns all original VA.

* * *

**

One Year Earlier.

Lissa, Dimitri, Eddie, and I had all graduated and were getting ready to begin college. Lissa and Dimitri had been dating for about two years and we all knew they were destined to get married. Eddie was so dedicated to being a guardian that he wasn't dating and we figured he never would. I had been dating Adrian for about a year. It wasn't as serious as Lissa and Dimitri, but it was fun, and I did love him.

Adrian was older than all of us, but he was enrolling in college so he could stay with me. We were all headed to Addison University, a Moroi university, but the two Moroi still needed guardians. Eddie, Dimitri and I had graduated at the top of our class and we also were instrumental in the attack at St. Vlads. I had the most kills with Dimitri and Eddie right on my heals. We were chosen to be with Adrian and Lissa because of this. They also decided to assign another one to go with us since Lissa and Adrian were Royals. They chose another female, her name was Elianna, she was one year older than us, and very pretty. She stood about 5'9", had shoulder length dark brown hair and blue eyes. She was thin, but had curves, nothing like mine, but the guys still had difficulty not staring. She was very nice, and a lot of fun. We all instantly got along.

We were staying at Court until it was time to go to school so Lissa could observe Court politics and so we could all have time off. Dimitri, Eddie, Elli and I had time to relax, but we still had time to practice and train. While Lissa and Adrian were with the queen learning Royal politics, we would go to the gym and train. Then the afternoons and evenings were spent hanging out and having fun.

We decided one night to head out to the club and go dancing. It was nice to just let go and have no worries. I watched Lissa and Dimitri and they were all over each other. It was cute and nauseating at the same time. Eddie and Elli danced together, but you could tell that they were just friends. Adrian and I were just happy to be out together. Adrian was a wonderful dancer, whether it be ballroom dancing or club dancing. I enjoyed the club dancing much more because I loved the feel of our bodies moving together, the scent of his cologne, and the feel of his breath on my skin. We usually always left before everyone else because we wanted to be alone. Tonight was no exception.

We made our way back to Adrian's room, not being able to keep our hands off of each other. His kisses were like fire to my system and I couldn't get enough of him. His body was a temple and I loved the feel of him wrapped around me. I couldn't believe that someone as perfect –in every way- as Adrian was mine. We made it to his room and fell onto his king sized bed never breaking contact. Our clothes came off quickly and soon enough our skin was touching and we couldn't get enough of each other. We made love for hours, worshiping each other and when we were done we lay in each other's arms just basking in what we had done.

Adrian turned towards me and whispered in my ear, "I love you Rose." I smiled at him. He had said those words to me many times before, but I could never bring myself to say them back. Those words scared me. Although the novelty of our scandalous relationship had worn off and his family finally accepted us, it still scared me. I was afraid that if I admitted to him that I loved him too, my heart would be open to getting hurt. But still…

I looked up into his emerald green eyes, brought his lips to mine and kissed him deeply. When we pulled away, I looked up at him again and whispered, "I love you too Adrian." The smile that spread across his face was the biggest and brightest smile I had ever seen.

"You have just made me the happiest man in the world." And he kissed me again, this time filled with all the love and passion I had ever felt from him. We fell into each other again and made love once more.

I woke up to Lissa in my head. We were bonded and we could communicate telepathically. _Rose, get over here. I need to talk to you._

_I'll be there soon. I just woke up."_ I sent back. I leaned over and looked at Adrian laying on his stomach sound asleep. I kissed his bare back then got up and got dressed. I left him a note telling him I was at Lissa's and that I loved him, and then headed out the door.

I knocked on Lissa's door and Dimitri answered. He looked tired, and I could tell he was heading back to his own room to sleep some more. "Rose." He said as he smiled at me and walked down the hall.

I walked in and Lissa was sitting on the bed. I plopped down and smiled. "What's up Liss?" I knew something was up, I could feel it through the bond. She just beamed that smile at me, and then held her hand out to me. "He proposed?" I squealed.

"He did." The ring was beautiful. It had three stones, the center was a one carat round diamond with two half carat round diamonds on either side, set in a platinum setting. It was gorgeous. "We're going to wait until after college. Now, it's yours and Adrian's turn." She beamed.

"Oh, I don't know about that. I just told him last night that I loved him. I am _not _ready to even think about getting married, let alone being engaged. Maybe someday." I absently played with a stray string, thinking about what it meant for me to be in love with Adrian Ivashkov.

"Rose, you really told him you loved him? That is a _huge_ step for you. I am so happy." Lissa gushed. She was a sucker for love, where as I was a little apprehensive. I changed the subject to her and Dimitri and we spent about an hour talking as she gave me details on how he proposed. Then we moved onto school.

The nice thing about going to a Moroi school was we could all take our own classes. There were plenty of school guardians, and the wards, but being Lissa and Adrian's guardians, we still needed to be close. Lissa was taking pre-med, I was going into animal behavior, Dimitri and Eddie were going into criminal justice, and Elli and Adrian were taking art. We talked until lunchtime then headed to a little café we all liked. I called Adrian and he said he would be there soon. Dimitri, Eddie, and Elli were already there waiting for us. We sat down and when Adrian got there we all congratulated Lissa and Dimitri and excitedly talked about the plans they were going to have to make.

Then we started discussing school and that kind of stuff. School was still two weeks away from starting and we had some serious shopping to do.

* * *

**There's the first chapter. I hoped you liked it. Then next one will have more action. Please stay tuned.**

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!  
**


	3. My Nightmare

**My Nightmare**

**I hope you all liked the first chapter. Here is where the action starts. I hope you like it; don't forget at the end to leave me your thoughts.**

**Richelle Mead owns all original VA.

* * *

**

We all got registered for school and got our dorm assignments. The three guys were rooming together as were Lissa, Elli and I. It was good we all were together, two guardians to each Moroi. Our classes were to start in just a few days and we decided to just hang out for the time being, exploring the grounds and seeing what there was to do. There were a few places to eat and a club within in the wards. If you wanted to do anything else you had to leave campus.

The buildings were a lot like St. Vlads and Court, looking like old castles and renaissance buildings. But then there were also some newer, more common looking buildings here and there. We were close to the human world, although no human's attended the school. This school only took Moroi, Dhampir's and the occasional alchemist. But there weren't a whole lot of alchemists here.

School started and classes were going well for all of us. We were making new friends, learning a lot, and of course making some not so good friends as well. We were lower classmen, new meat for the upper classmen to pick on, but we were quickly rising in the ranks. Adrian and Lissa were accepted quite quickly due to the fact that they were Royal, Dimitri, Eddie, Elli and I were gaining some ground given we were the best in our combat classes. But there were still some that liked to pick on us since we were freshmen.

When we weren't in school, Dimitri and Lissa were joined at the hip, as were Adrian and I. Eddie had met a girl, her name was Kori, a fellow Dhampir, and had seemed to fall in love quickly. Elli had met someone too, he was a Moroi who specialized in fire, his name was Anthony, but they weren't quite as serious as the rest of us.

We all decided to go shopping one day before classes since we were still on a nocturnal schedule. None of our classes started before twelve so we had some time. We all piled into an SUV that Adrian had gotten for us and took off toward the mall. Anthony couldn't go, so it was just Lissa, Dimitri, Eddie, Kori, Elli, Adrian, and I. We were having a lot of fun and noticed it was closing time for the mall, so we all took off towards the doors.

We had parked close so we all began to walk out. Suddenly the nausea settled into my stomach and I stiffened. Dimitri, Eddie and Elli followed suit, knowing my alarm system. It only took Kori a second to catch on. Two Strigoi stepped out of the shadows and I was shocked that they would risk it for two Moroi surrounded by five guardians. That's when I noticed two more on our right and two more on our left. Little did we know there were more waiting in the shadows. They had come as a group.

I can't tell you how long the next chain of events took, it wasn't long, but to me it was an eternity. We were surrounded and fighting to keep our friends safe. These Strigoi were fast and strong. One had hit Dimitri from behind and made his way towards me. I had already taken out two of them and getting tired, but I kept on. I was fighting a female, who was obviously a Dhampir before she was turned, and didn't notice the male headed for me.

Somehow Adrian had found a piece of wood and came running up behind the Strigoi and hit him over the head. It didn't even stun the Strigoi, he turned around with lightning fast speed and before I could do anything to stop him, he had grabbed Adrian by the throat and twisted, making a sickening cracking sound. Adrian's body went limp and the Strigoi took off with him in his arms. Dimitri, Eddie, Kori and Elli finished up the rest, and I just sat on my knees, sobbing and not able to move.

Dimitri came running and wrapped his arms around me. "Rose, where's Adrian?" He said as he looked around. He hadn't seen what had happened, but neither had anyone else besides Lissa, who was also sitting with me, but was silent. Our conversation was taking place in our minds.

"He's…he's…gone." That's all I could get out through my sobs.

"What do you mean, he's gone?" Dimitri asked looking around. "Like, they took him?"

I nodded. Lissa spoke quietly. "They killed him. They snapped his neck right in front of Rose, then took his body." I was sobbing again uncontrollably and everyone fell silent.

"Come on. Let's get back." Dimitri said as he lifted me off the ground and carried me to the SUV and we returned to the school. "We need to get her to Court. She's going to need some help. She doesn't look good." Dimitri said as we pulled into school.

All I know is Lissa and Dimitri got out, and then returned with bags for all of us in about twenty minutes and we started off towards Court. I sat with Eddie and Lissa in a daze and soon fell asleep.

As I dreamt it was of Adrian. He was kissing me, then he was being ripped from me and I watched them kill him again. I woke up with a violent jump that startled both Lissa and Eddie. "Are you okay?" Eddie asked as Lissa tried to soothe me with her magic. It just wasn't working.

"I'm never going to see him again. He's never going to visit my dreams or just pop in unexpectedly. I'm never going to be able to tell him I love him again." I began crying violently and my chest heaved as I began to hyperventilate. What was I going to do? How was I going to go on? That's when my anger started to spike. I will kill them all. Every single Strigoi. They killed the only man I loved. They will pay.

Suddenly I heard Lissa in my head. _You will die if you try that. You know that. Is that what you want?_

_I don't know Liss. Maybe._ I responded back to her.

We pulled into Court in complete silence and Dimitri drove strait to the clinic. We hadn't called ahead so no one knew what had happened. Dimitri came around and asked if I could walk. I shook my head and he lifted me up and carried me into the clinic and sat me in a chair. The doctor, Dr. Blake, came running up.

"What has happened?" He asked Dimitri.

"Strigoi attack outside of Addison University. She's not physically hurt, but emotionally? Not so good. We think she may be in shock." Dimitri said.

"What happened?" He said again, apparently wanting more information.

"I think we should get her into a private room and get the queen. She needs to be here to hear this." Dimitri said. He turned to Lissa. "I don't want you to leave her side, keep her calm. Eddie and I will get the queen."

I hated hearing those words. I didn't want to tell Tatiana that I had failed her nephew and because of that he was dead. They got me situated then Dimitri and Eddie left. I was lying in a bed, Lissa holding my hand and Elli stood watch at the door. Lissa was trying to keep me calm, telling me to close my eyes and relax, but every time I did I saw Adrian's face going blank and his body falling limp. I just couldn't bear it. I just wanted his arms wrapped around me, his breath on my skin, and his voice telling me he loved me. And my heart and soul died a little more with the knowledge that I would never have any of that again.

After about thirty minutes Dimitri, Eddie and Tatiana came rushing into the clinic. "Rose." Tatiana said as she took my hand. "Are you okay sweetheart?" I nodded as well as I could. Suddenly she looked around the room. "Where's Adrian?" Dimitri and Eddie obviously didn't tell her. I broke down again, my chest heaving with deep sobs.

Lissa put her hand on Tatiana's shoulder. "Your Majesty," she paused as Tatiana took a deep breath. "Adrian is…well…gone. They killed him and took his body. They killed him in front of Rose."

"NO. Not Adrian, please no." She began to sob along with me. I figured she would be disgusted with me, but she still held my hand while she sobbed.

* * *

**There is chapter two, Please don't hate me for killing Adrian. There are good things in store for Rose, but I needed something to set her on her journey, and that was the way to do it. Don't worry; Adrian will be making a few more appearances in the story.**

**Don't forget to review!**

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**


	4. Coping

**Coping**

**I have gotten a few very supportive reviews for this story. Thank you for showing your interest. I am really enjoying writing this story. I hope you all continue to read and leaving your feedback.**

**Richelle Mead owns all original VA.

* * *

**

Tatiana stayed with that night. I kept apologizing for letting them kill Adrian.

"Rose, there is nothing to apologize for. I am sure you did everything you could. We will get through this together. When you are released you will be staying in my guest quarters. I already have Dimitri, Eddie and Elianna set up and Lissa will be staying with you. I have contacted the school and you are on leave until further notice."

"Why are you helping me? I mean I didn't save Adrian. You should hate me." I said quietly and through my tears.

"Rose, Adrian loved you and you loved him. I know if you could've, you would have saved him. I will do everything in my power to help you. Adrian would have wanted that. I do care about you, you made him happy. That's what matters." She said as she held my hand.

I was shocked. How could she even look at me? Lissa came in and the queen left after telling me she would be back in the morning. Lissa crawled into the bed with me and held me tightly. "I will stay with you tonight. You need to get some sleep and I will do what I can to keep the nightmares away." She said. I nodded and closed my eyes reluctantly, but I was so tired I couldn't fight it for much longer.

When I woke up I was glad I hadn't had any dreams that night. I was restless, ready to get out of here. I woke up Lissa by shaking her. She looked at me wide eyed then smiled. "Hey Liss, when can I get out of here?" I was still completely devastated by losing Adrian, but now I was angry.

"Let me go get Dr. Blake and find out." She jumped down off the bed and then disappeared out the door. While I was waiting, Tatiana came in to see me.

"How are you feeling dear?" She kissed my forehead and for a moment she reminded me of a grandmother rather than a queen.

"I'm alive. But anyone expecting any other answer is certifiable." I said. She raised her lips in a small smile as Dr. Blake walked in.

"Well Guardian Hathaway, you may go home, but if you find you are having any difficulty dealing with this, come right back in here. I am going to give you some pills to help you sleep, but only take them when necessary." He explained.

"Thank you doctor." I said as I swung my legs over the bed and pushed off carefully. I had not walked in almost two full days and wasn't sure if my knees would buckle. I was a little stiff, but I managed to get dressed and walk off on my own free will to Tatiana's car. Lissa, Tatiana, and I got in and headed out towards the queens private house. When we got there, Tatiana herself showed us to our rooms. When I walked into mine, my breath was taken away. There was a huge king sized bed in the middle with a black and red comforter, a dark cherry oak dresser with a full sized mirror, a black leather sofa, 47" flat screen TV, a new iMac computer, private bathroom with a huge whirlpool tub and a private balcony. Lissa's room was right next-door and identical to mine, other than the color scheme. Her's was brown and pink.

Tatiana pulled me aside. "If you would like to have a picture of you and Adrian, I have plenty downstairs to choose from. I didn't want you to be overwhelmed." I nodded and smiled. "Anything you want let myself or one of the workers know. I'll leave you alone. And Rose? Anytime you want to look at the pictures, let me know." I nodded and she turned away.

I told Lissa through the bond I was getting a bath and then going to bed. She said okay and she's see me in the morning. I ran a bath and added lavender bubble bath to relax. Pulling my hair up into a messy bun I eased my way into the hot water and laid my head back and closed my eyes. The hot water did wonders for my sore muscles, but couldn't relax my mind. When the water started cooling, I got out, dried off and put a long tank top on and crawled into bed. I cried for a while and then fell asleep.

My nightmare began again, and then suddenly it shifted. I was in my dorm room sitting on the bed and when I looked up Adrian was standing at the edge. "Little Dhampir." He said smiling. I jumped up and grabbed him holding him to me tightly. I knew this was one of his dreams, but I wasn't sure how.

"Adrian, how are you here?" I asked.

"My soul hasn't moved on yet. I am still able to see you here." I reached up and kissed his face all over.

"Adrian, I love you so much!" Then I hit him in the chest.

"OW! What was that for?" He asked as he grabbed my arms and wrapped his arms around me.

"Why did you do it? Why did you try to hit him?" I asked.

"He was coming after you. You didn't see him. I had to help. I'm sorry." He said looking into my eyes.

"Don't be sorry. I'm the one who should be sorry. I didn't save you. I should have fought harder."

"Babe, there's nothing you could have done. I made the choice, I took the chance. I died trying to save you. If I had to choose, that's the way I would want to go. Trying to save you." I leaned up and kissed him deeply.

I pulled away and pulled him onto the bed with me. He wrapped his arms tightly around me. I laid my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat. It was heaven. "Adrian, I love you so much. I wish I would have died with you."

"Don't ever say that Rose. Never. You need to live. You still have things to do. People to love, people to protect. You need to live." He said then kissed the top of my head. "Promise me you'll live."

"I promise. Anything for you." We lay like that forever. I was relishing in the feel of his skin, the smell of his scent, and the sound of his breath. I never wanted to wake up.

"Rose, you're about to wake up. I have to go."

"No, I won't leave you." I clung tighter to him.

"You have to. I'll be back tonight, and even if you can't see me, I'll be right next to you all day. I love you." I looked up and kissed him.

"I love you too." And then the dream faded and I woke up.

I got up and went into the bathroom to shower. When I got out I sent Lissa a message. _You awake?_

_Yeah, you okay?_ She sent back.

_Yeah, come over, I have to tell you something._

Suddenly there was a knock on my door. "It's open." Lissa walked in and sat on my couch.

"What's up?" She asked.

"I saw Adrian last night. In my dreams." And I proceeded to tell her all about the dream. I was still upset, and I got a little more upset knowing that these dreams wouldn't last forever, but I hoped they would make things easier.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please keep reading and let me know what you think. I think I will be able to get the next chapter tonight, but then it may be a few days. I have to work some on "What Dreams May Come" and my daughter is super busy this week.**

**Don't for get to review!**

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**


	5. Memorial

**Memorial**

**Here's the next chapter. This one was a hard one for me to write. I cried while I wrote some of it. I hope you like it.**

**Richelle Mead owns all original VA.

* * *

**

Two days later we had the memorial for Adrian. I had seen him every night after I fell asleep so I wasn't a complete basket case. I still cried and it was possibly the hardest thing I had ever done. My dad had flown in the day before to be with me and it was very appreciated.

There were a lot of people there, I sat with his family and my friends. A lot of people got up and spoke about him, but I just couldn't do it myself. Everyone seemed to understand. They had a dinner afterward and at that I had a lot of people come up and tell me how sorry they were. I cried a lot, no matter how hard I tried not to.

Tatiana leaned over to me and whispered, "Adrian left a will, we are having the reading tomorrow. I think you should be there." I just nodded. I wasn't sure why she wanted me there; I wouldn't deny her after all she had done for me.

My father and I spent the rest of the day together. He was the one person I could let my anger out to and he would just let me go. "I want revenge! I want to kill them. All of them!" I was yelling at that point. "They took my love. They took my heart! I have to do this. I just don't know how." I paused and began to cry again.

"I know honey." My dad was rubbing my back. "What if I told you there might be a way? A way to kill them all." He looked at me curiously.

My father had never been one to lie, but I didn't know or understand what he was saying. "What do you mean kill them all?" I asked slowly.

"My bloodline goes way back to ancient times, as well as your mothers. There is documentation that had been passed down, that I am in possession of that details a way to destroy all Strigoi. There's no way to stop them from reemerging again, but this speaks of a way to decimate them now. It can only be done once every generation, and takes a special person." He finished.

I processed this. Once a generation, special person. What did that mean? Well, one way to find out. "What does a special person mean?"

"Well, they have to be Shadow Kissed, which you are, be of a specific bloodline, which there again, you are, and you must have pure intentions. It cannot be just about revenge. The place you must go is very hard to find."

"That's a lot to take in. Do you have this book, or whatever it is, with you?" I asked. Maybe reading it would be a better way for me to understand.

"I don't have it with me, but I can have it by tomorrow." I nodded, thinking that would be fine.

"What about this specific bloodline?" I asked. I wasn't sure what that would be.

"Well, obviously being shadow kissed you have to be Dhampir. But you have to have the blood of the first shadow kissed in you. I did a family tree some time ago for your mother and I found you are a descendant. It was a man from centuries ago. His name was Elias Devenigh. You are a descendant of his. The only problem now is you having pure intentions or you won't be permitted onto the sacred ground. You need to work on getting rid of the hate. That is part of what drives Strigoi and you need to rid yourself of that to destroy them."

"I will work on that. Where is this place?" This was a lot to understand, but I wanted as much information as I could get.

"All I know is that it is in Russia. It is called the Cavern of the Light- пещера света in Russian. The people of Russia would know better than I. There is a map in the journal I have, but you will need a guide when you get there. You will need to train hard, get your friends to train hard; you cannot do this on your own. And you have to purge this hate in you or the cause is lost."

I had to do this for Adrian. For all the lives that could be lost to more Strigoi. "Okay old man. Get this journal of yours here, then we will tell my friends and you can contact whomever you need to. Right now, I need to go. I need some rest and I need to get out of these clothes." My dad put his arms around me.

"Get some rest Rose. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I love you." Abe said and walked me to the queens' mansion.

"I love you too Dad. Thanks. See you tomorrow." And I walked inside.

I found Tatiana sitting in the main room. "Hello Your Majesty." I said as I stopped at the door to the stairway.

"Rose, please, call me Tatiana." I nodded.

"Tatiana, can I have a picture to put in my room?" I asked. I knew I didn't have to explain, she knew what I wanted. She nodded and we walked into a large room covered in family portraits.

"Take your pick." She said motioning to a cabinet that was filled with pictures only of Adrian's life. They went from infancy all the way up to adulthood. "Take as many as you would like. I'll leave you alone."

"Thank you." I said as she left the room. I stared at all the pictures. There was one of him as a baby swaddled in a blanket, his eyes shut and he was sucking his thumb. Another showed him on a swing as a child with the evening sun shining on the back of his hair making him look angelic. His school pictures, baptism, graduation, family gatherings, Royal functions. Then the ones of him and me.

My hand went to my mouth and tears threatened my eyes. I touched one of the first pictures of us. We were at one of the Royal parties, Adrian in a black tux, and I was in a flowing red gown. He was twirling me around on the dance floor. That was the night of our first kiss. There were so many others but I knew which one I wanted. Towards the middle was one of us laughing, looking into each other's eyes, it was a close up and always one of my favorites. I grabbed it and went to my room. I sat it on my nightstand so it would be the last thing I saw at night and the first thing I saw in the morning.

_Rose, where are you?_ Lissa said through the bond.

_In my room. Come on in._ I said back.

_Be there in about fifteen minutes._ I went to the balcony and sat in one of the lounge chairs. I had gone to Adrian's room the other day and found some of his clothes, so I would be able to have some semblance of him being here. I could picture Adrian sitting here with me with a drink in his hand, just relaxing. Maybe I'll find his secret stash of alcohol and have a few drinks. Who knows? All I knew that as the day went on I missed him terribly. I couldn't wait to get to sleep so I could see him and feel him. But I had promised him I would live and sleeping all the time was no way to live.

Lissa finally came in and I had changed into jeans and one of Adrian's wife beaters. Lissa was still in her black dress. "Were did you find that shirt?" She asked, a little concerned.

"Oh, I found his room here and grabbed some of his clothes. I'm just not ready to let go." I said, some more tears pooling in my eyes.

"Well, that's understandable. You don't have to let go yet. He's still here right?" She asked smiling.

"Yeah, he's still here. I still talk to him every night. It's comforting. I know I'm acting crazy Liss, I can see that's what people think, but I miss him so much." She hugged me tightly.

"I know you do. No one thinks your crazy. You're in mourning and hurting. It will take some time. We all know that. Hopefully it will get easier. I don't know how I'd be if I lost you or Dimitri. Probably the same way, or worse. Who knows? But I know you are not crazy. None of us think that." I knew she meant it.

We spent the evening talking, on the computer playing games, and sitting on the balcony watching the sunrise. It was beautiful. We even went down to Adrian's room where I finally found his alcohol stash and I found his leather jacket that I always loved. I took the jacket and alcohol back to my room and Lissa and I did a shot in honor of Adrian.

* * *

**Thank you all for reading. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. **

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**


	6. Trying to Heal

**Trying To Heal**

**Thank you all for reading. Here is the next chapter!**

**Richelle Mead owns all original VA.

* * *

**

I got back to my room, changed into one of Adrian's button up shirts and settled into my bed. I had told Lissa I was going to bed early. She was a little concerned but when I explained that I needed to talk to Adrian, that it was important, I think she understood. I was nervous to tell him what I needed to, I didn't want him to stop coming to see me, but I figured it was something I had to do. I knew our time together was limited and this needed to be done. I turned my TV on and lay down waiting for sleep to take me to Adrian.

Soon I was sitting on the couch in m room still dressed in Adrian's shirt, and Adrian was standing at my door. "You're early." He said as he made his way towards me.

"I know. I needed to talk to you." I said quietly.

"I figured. I got the feeling something was up when you were down by the pond. What's up?' He asked.

"Well, I came to a realization. This isn't easy for me to say, but I have to. I know you explained to me why you did what you did, but that doesn't change that fact that you're gone." I paused. How was I going to do this? I got up and walked over to the balcony doors and watched as the sun began to rise.

"Rose, I can't tell you enough how sorry I am."

"I know, but that doesn't change anything. Adrian, I love you more than anything. My heart and soul was ripped apart when you died. I want to complete this mission and bring you peace, but I can't do that as long as I still harbor anger. And I realized that I am angry with you." He began to protest but nodded. "You took a risk, a stupid risk. And because of that risk, you left me. You were ripped away from me and it was because of a stupid risk. I know you did it for me, and I am grateful for that, but you should have never tried to take on that monster. You left me." At that point he came over and wrapped his arms tightly around me and I was sobbing. "How…how could…how could you leave me?" I said through my sobs, and then broke away from him. "You…you had to have known there would be deadly consequences. But yet you still did it. You got yourself killed! How could you do that to me?" I was sobbing uncontrollably at that point and collapsed onto my bed. Adrian came and cradled me in his arms.

"Rose, I would have done anything to protect you. I didn't think about the consequences. I only thought about protecting you. I can never explain how sorry I am. All I can hope for is that you'll forgive me. I know I was stupid. I didn't mean to leave you. That is the last thing I wanted to do. Even after my time is done here, I will always be with you. In your heart and in your memories." He had tears in his eyes as he said this.

"Adrian, I need to heal. There's a hole in my heart, but it's in the shape of you. How do I fix that? It's so hard." I kissed him gently.

"I know it is. But you have to do it. You have to try. I will help you, but you have to start to move on. It's the only way." He said as he pulled my hair through his fingers.

"I know." I said. We lay quietly together for a while and he leaned down and kissed me.

"So, what do we need to do to get on the path toward forgiveness?" He asked.

"I don't know. I think we just need to take it night by night. I know we don't have a lot of time, but by the time I leave for Russia, I need to be able to genuinely forgive you. We'll be fine. I'll be fine. I'm sure of it." I said.

We spent the rest of the night, well my dream, talking about past memories, watching TV and just being together. It was great. When my time to wake up came we kissed and the dream faded. I woke up, surprisingly refreshed, and made my way to the shower. I got dressed in work out clothes, went to get Lissa then headed towards the gym,

Abe was waiting for us and he had a guest. Eddie, Elli, Dimitri, Lissa and I stood there together while Abe and this woman were talking. We were waiting for Mia and Jill. When they arrived Abe turned to us. The woman he was with was Moroi, had beautiful jet-black hair pulled back into a tight ponytail and ice blue eyes. She was beautiful with the exceptions of a scar that almost completely covered one side of her face. "Everyone, this is Natasha Ozera. She is a fire user and an accomplished fighter. She had taken on two Strigoi in her time and will be training with the Moroi. Tasha, this is Lissa, Mia and Jill. They will be with you. The other's are Eddie, Dimitri, Elli and Rose. Rose is my daughter." She walked up and shook all of our hands. She seemed very nice. I was looking forward to getting to know her. When she made her way to me she smiled sweetly.

"Rose, what a pleasure. I thought you and I could have dinner tonight. Your father has told me some of the situation and I think you'll find I may be able to help you. We have something in common." She finished.

I raised my eyebrows, but didn't ask what we had in common. I would ask later. "Sure, sounds good. Would you like to meet, at say, eight?" I asked.

"Yes, eight would be fine. For now, good luck." She smiled and went back to Abe.

Abe smiled and motioned for Lissa, Mia and Jill to join Tasha. They headed out to the track and I heard Tasha say something about running. Lissa let out a groan and I smiled.

"Now for you guardians. My head guardian Pavel will be helping with your training and I have also contacted an old friend of mine to help." With that the door opened and our old instructor, Alberta, walked in. We all smiled, she was one of the best. "Listen to them and pay attention. I am going to join the Moroi on the track." I thought it was odd, he seemed to keep in shape pretty well, but I guess he figured he should train with them too.

Pavel was a few years older than me, with muscles to die for, sandy blonde hair kept short and dark blue eyes. He was a good-looking Dhampir, and seemed to be a skilled fighter. I guess working with my dad he would have to be.

Alberta and Pavel took their places on the mats. Eddie and Dimitri went with Pavel and Elli and I went with Alberta.

"I want to see some of your offensive moves. Don't hold back. Give me all you got. Elli, you first." Alberta said as she crouched. Elli did a really good job. She was fast and efficient. But Alberta was one of the best. She had great defensive technique, but Elli countered wonderfully. After a while though, Alberta took her down. "Elli, you did quite well. We will work on some weak points, but you did very well. Your training is good. I will spar with Rose next, and then we will see what you can do defensively. Go get some water and rest. Rose?' She looked at me and I smiled. She came over and hugged me. "I am so sorry about Adrian. Are you sure you're up to this?" I nodded.

"Let's do this." I said.

"Very well. You do offensive just like Elli." I nodded and crouched into my fighting stance. We circled a few times, and then I struck out. She dodged and countered. I had learned so much from her, it was easy to know what was coming, but it was the same way with her. I had learned a few new kicks while I had been here, so I decided to try one. I jumped up and brought my legs up and spun, it was kind of like the blades of a helicopter, making contact with her shoulder and flipped her over. "That was a new move Rose. Very effective." She said as she got up rubbing her shoulder.

"Thank you. It's something I picked up while I've been here." I said, pleased with myself. We spent the next few hours sparring with Alberta and Pavel, then Eddie and Dimitri. The Moroi came in after running and began on basic defense. They wouldn't be learning as much as us, but they needed basic defense. I was glad Lissa would be able to at least defend herself.

_Is it really this hard?__My body is killing me already._ I heard Lissa through the bond.

I stifled a laugh. _It's only beginning, Liss._ I sent back. I heard her let out a loud sigh and continue on learning how to throw a punch. I knew she hated it, she was gentle by nature, but she needed to know this.

We started out cool downs and headed out. Tasha came up behind me. "I am staying in guest housing. Where would you like to eat? I am up for anything."

"There's this great Chinese and sushi place, Jack Cho's. How about there?" I suggested.

"That sounds great. See you there at eight." I nodded and she walked off.

I went back to my room and told Lissa what I was doing and where I was going. She picked out a dress for me to wear and wished me good luck. I was curious as to what Tasha and I would talk about.

* * *

**I know there isn't much to this chapter, but I needed to introduce Tasha and explain Rose's anger. I hope you all enjoyed it.**

**Please leave me your thoughts.**

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!  
**


	7. Revelations

**Revelations**

**I hope you enjoyed the last chapter. Here is the next one. Enjoy!**

**Richelle Mead owns all original VA.

* * *

**

I ended up in a knee length satin green Asian style dress with red embellishments and black pumps. I had to admit, I looked good. I got to Jack Cho's and went inside and Tasha was already there waiting. I went over and joined her.

"Hi Rose. How are you doing?" she asked with a smile.

"I'm surviving. That's about it right now." I said.

"Well, that's to be expected. Mourning is never easy. So, do you think you'll be ready for the upcoming journey?"

"I hope so. I have some anger issues that I need to work through, but I think I'll be ready." I said. We ordered our drinks and food, and then Tasha began.

"Well, that's something I thought I might be able to help some with." I took a drink of my wine and I looked at her raising my eyebrows. "Let me guess, you're angry with Adrian for leaving?"

I nodded. "How did you know that? Can you read my mind or am I really that transparent?" I asked with a little laugh.

"Neither. I went through something similar a while back. Not quite what you did, but I lost someone very dear to me to Strigoi. I would like to tell you my story." Tasha said as she waited for me to allow her to continue. I nodded, urging her on.

"It happened fifteen years ago. I was thirteen at the time. My brother and his wife willingly turned Strigoi leaving their four-year-old son behind. Obviously I was upset, but at first I was upset with the Strigoi, not necessarily my brother. My nephew, Christian, had moved in with my parents and me. The Moroi society had turned their backs on us as punishment for what my brother had done. When I was eighteen I took Christian and moved away. It was the best thing for him. About four years ago, my brother and sister-in-law returned for Christian. They wanted to turn him, but I managed to set my sister-in-law on fire and destroy her. My brother attacked me and left me with a daily reminder of that day." She motioned to the scar on her face. "As he was attacking me, Christian, who was fourteen at the time, set him on fire, not only allowing me to escape, but also killing his father. You see I hated them for what they had done. I let that hate rule my life. My brother had not only turned into my enemy, tried to kill me, forced me to raise his son, which may I add I have never regretted, but he also ruined any chance Christian may have had to live a Royal life." She paused as the waitress brought our meals.

"I mean, we are still very wealthy, but was are shunned. After Chris showed so much power with his fire, I enrolled him into a school in Russia. It hasn't been easy on him, but he has graduated top of his class and is a talented fighter. He never harbored hatred like I did, and I always looked up to him for that. He has long ago forgiven his parents for what they did. You see my sister-in-law was a spirit user, but at the time no one, not even her, knew what was happening. She was losing her mind. She was becoming a danger to Chris. When she decided to turn, my brother followed, he couldn't live without her. I had to do a lot of soul searching, but I finally made peace with it. Am I still hurt? Sure, but I let the anger go. They thought what they did would protect Chris, they didn't know until later how wrong they were. I'll bet Adrian thought the same thing when he charged that Strigoi." Tasha finished.

I was astonished. After that we both ate in silence as I let it all sink in. What she had said was tragic. But she was right. Adrian was trying to protect me but not considering the consequences of his actions. What he did, he did out of love. How could I be angry with him for that? But then the next part was, if I forgive him, would his soul move on? Will my visits with him be done? I didn't know if I was ready for that.

"What you said makes perfect sense." I said quietly. I could feel the anger leaving me. The hurt and the hole in my heart was still there, but that black feeling was disappearing. We had finished our dinner and got ready to go.

"Just so you know, I will be with you until the end of this, and my nephew is training and will be joining us when we reach Russia. If you ever need to talk, just let me know." She said as we walked to the cars.

"I will Tasha. Thank you so much for helping me. You really did help me." I finished. We went our separate ways and I headed home.

When I got back I went to Lissa's room. Lissa answered and I noticed Dimitri was there. "I won't keep you long. I just wanted to let you know that I worked through my anger and Adrian may be leaving tonight. I'm not sure how this works. Just letting you know."

"Are you going to be alright?" Lissa asked, clearly concerned.

"I think so. It'll hurt, but I think I'll be okay." she hugged me tightly and I headed back to my room. I changed into another one of Adrian's shirts and settled into my bed. I closed my eyes preparing to see my love.

I ended up on a beach with candles everywhere. I knew Adrian was close. I was still in his shirt, but I was on the beach listening to the waves crash into the shore, I didn't care what I was wearing.

Adrian came up behind me. "Little Dhampir." He said as he sat down next to me. "How are you today?"

"Much better. I need to talk to you." he nodded knowingly. "I love you so much. I miss you so much too. I am still hurt by what you did, and I'm sure I'll never really understand why you did it, but I forgive you. You weren't thinking about the consequences, and that I understand. From the bottom of my heart, I forgive you." I said as tears began pooling in my eyes.

"Thank you. You have no idea what that means to me." He said then leaned down and kissed me.

I pulled away and just stared into his emerald green eyes. "What are you looking at?" he said with a small laugh.

"You, I want to burn you into my memory. Now that I have forgiven you, I don't know how much more time we have." I said quietly.

"We still have tonight." He said, then leaned in and kissed me deeply.

"Adrian? Make love to me." I said against his lips.

"Here? Are you sure? You were always opposed to that." He said with a smile.

"I know, but things have changed." I said and crashed my lips to his. We made love on the beach in my dream and I burnt every move, every feeling and every inch of him into my memory. It was heaven. I knew it was only in my dream, but it was the closest thing I would ever have.

I woke up sad to know that that could have been the last time I would ever see Adrian, but happy to know the anger had been purged from my heart. We only had about three weeks left until we left for Russia and I needed to train and be ready. I wasn't sure how long I would be in Russia, but I had to be ready. I got up, got a shower and changed into my workout clothes and headed towards the gym.

I fought with renewed strength and determination. I was beginning to feel like myself again and it was liberating. With my renewed strength I was able to take down all of my opponents. It was great.

"Tomorrow we will be trying something a little different. Rose, you're going to need to rely on all of your senses. You may find a time where you may only have your sense of smell and intuition to rely on. That's what we will begin working on. I have an old acquaintance coming in to help with this. Tomorrow will be a great test for you. The rest of you will return to your regular training." Abe explained. What did all that mean? I wasn't sure I liked the way things were going. But for Adrian, I needed to do this.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I am hard at work on the next one, so please leave me your thoughts.**

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**


	8. Here's To You

**Here's To You**

**Here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it.**

**Richelle Mead owns all original VA.

* * *

**

That day was long and hard, but I was dreading what tomorrow would bring. I tried to push it from my mind for the time being. Lissa and I were spending the evening together since we hadn't gotten to spend a whole lot of time together. I told her about my dinner with Tasha, my confrontation with Adrian and how I felt so much lighter now.

"Rose, you look so much better. Your aura is also a lot brighter too. I'm glad Abe knew someone who could help." She said. We were in her room watching a movie and munching on popcorn. "Do you think you'll see Adrian tonight?"

"I don't know. I hope so, but I don't know. If I do, I'm going to treat each night like it's our last."

"Well, I'm glad you got things sorted out. It makes for a much happier Rose." Lissa smiled.

"So Liss, tell me about you and Dimitri. How are things going? What have I missed?" I asked.

She started telling me about all the lovey dovey stuff they had been doing. I was really happy for them. They deserved to be happy. They both had been training just as hard as I was, so the last few days they hadn't seen a whole lot of each other. I felt for them but I was glad they were in my corner.

When she was done she asked the next obvious question. "What do you think this special training is?'

"I don't know, and frankly, it kind of scares me. I mean I have my nausea warning system, but I'm not sure how I can use my other senses to defend you guys."

"Well, I guess that is what you need to work on. We'll find out tomorrow." Lissa was as confused as me.

We parted ways and I made my way to bed. I wasn't sure if I would see Adrian but I hoped I would. When I was finally asleep I felt arms wrap around me. They held me tightly but something was different. When I turned over, it was Adrian but he was beginning to fade. I reached up and touched his face.

"The time is coming isn't it?" I asked almost a whisper.

"I think it is. When you forgave me, it set my soul free. That was what I needed. I feel my soul being pulled to the next world. But I will stay as long as I can." I leaned up and kissed him.

"If it's time for you to go, then you should. You need to be at peace." I said, beginning to tear up at the thought of not seeing him anymore.

"We have tonight then. Let's make the best of it." We kissed deeply then. We made love for the last time then talked and laughed. It was a good night. Then came time to say goodbye.

"I love you Adrian. I will always love you. You have been my best friend and my lover and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I will miss you so much, but I will never forget you." Standing there looking into his emerald green eyes there was so much more I wanted to say, but I couldn't find the words.

'Little Dhampir, my love. I have loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you. You altered my heart and soul in a way I never thought was possible. I will always be with you. Don't ever doubt that. We will meet again. Live your life to the fullest and love again. I know you will. I love you more than I ever thought possible, more than I thought I could ever love another person. Be happy." With that he leaned in and kissed me until he was completely gone.

A tear ran down my cheek as my love disappeared from my life. The only person I was sure I would ever love was gone. I had no idea what lay ahead for me, but I would make Adrian proud. That I knew.

I woke up with tears pooling on my pillow. I needed to get the sheets changed and take a shower. It was too late to call housekeeping so I got a shower and wrapped up in my bathrobe and poured a glass of vodka and walked out on to the balcony. I watched as birds flew on the breeze and the squirrels scurrying up and down the trees getting ready for the oncoming winter. I raised my glass to the sky and smiled. "I love you Adrian. Goodbye my love." Just then a light breeze blew up and ruffled my hair. I knew it was Adrian. I took a sip of my vodka and put my head on the back of my chair.

I stood in the gym with a blindfold over my eyes. No, it wasn't anything kinky or a surprise, well I guess surprise could explain it. I was supposed to be using my other senses to track my opponents. Lissa wasn't allowed to be there, they weren't sure if she would tell me through the bond what was coming. I was supposed to be focusing on my sense of smell and hearing.

Abe had brought in a man to help me. His name was Eugene Jackson. He was in his forties and an accomplished fighter, Strigoi hunter, and a long time friend of Abe's. Abe thought he would be the perfect person to help me learn to use my other senses, but when I walked in and watched him fight with Dimitri he seemed to fight just like normal sparring. When he finally took Dimitri down, he turned around and what I saw shocked me. His eyes were white. There was no color what so ever to them. I assumed he was blind.

Abe introduced me to him, they called him EJ. He said it made him feel younger. He had an electronic walking stick, it was pretty cool actually, and he was extremely intuitive. He could tell just by listening who was smiling or when someone moved, he could even hear conversations that were taking place across the gym.

"Rose, EJ, why don't you two take some time to get acquainted. I think it'll help if Rose understands." Abe then turned towards the other and started barking orders at them. EJ and I walked towards the track.

"So, I'm sure you're wondering what happened to my eyes?" he asked knowingly.

"Of course I am. Is that always the way you start conversations though?" I asked with a little laugh.

"No, of course not. I usually wear sunglasses so people don't immediately see my eyes. But when fighting they become a problem. When I turned around though, I sensed your shock. I figured it would be your first question. It usually is." He seemed very content with his situation. I wondered how long he had been blind. "Right after I graduated college, I was twenty-four, my charge and I were attacked by two Strigoi. I got my charge to safety but the Strigoi wouldn't give up. I lead them into a warehouse, I finally took one out, and the other was still coming on strong. I turned around and grabbed a jug and went to hit him with it. I was trying to distract him enough to get a clear shot at him heart. Little did I know he had a gun. When he shot, the bullet hit the jug, exploding it into my face. The bullet hit my shoulder and I went down. Just then another guardian entered and took him out, but the damage to my eyes had been done. The contents of the jug was bleach, and it completely blinded me, leaving my eyes white, at least that's what I have been told." He laughed and I was surprised he could find humor in this. "Anyway, I didn't want to give up my guardian status, or retire as the guardian committee called it, so I began training using my other senses. Learning to hone in my skills with my hearing, smell and touch. It's amazing the new sensations you get when you are without your sight. This is what you and I will be working on. You will notice that every person, every thing has a specific scent, as well as magic. You'll learn to use your ears to tell you when someone has moved, even if they think they are doing it silently. You'll notice how the air around you moved as someone else moves, the scent of the air when someone uses their magic, and how to move out of the way. It will take some time, but we have it. I will be doing a lot of training with you and I will also stay with you as you and your friends head into battle." All of a sudden I realized how our group was growing. If it kept up, we would be going in with an army.

"Well, I'm looking forward to learning all I can. It should be fun." I said.

"You may not be saying that after today."

"You don't know my definition of fun do you?" I smiled as I said that.

"No I guess I don't." He laughed. "Well, let's go get started. But first, you must wear this." He pulled out a blindfold and handed it to me. "Your training begins now.

* * *

**The big training is beginning. I hope you enjoyed it. I will be updating again soon.**

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**


	9. Intuition

**Intuition**

**Here is the next chapter. Thank you so much for all your reviews. It does me good to know that I have dedicated readers and that you are enjoying this story.**

**Richelle Mead owns all original VA.

* * *

**

I thought I would have no problem getting back to the gym as many times as I had walked the path from the track to the gym. man, was I wrong. I stumbled, ran into a few trees and ended up going the wrong way a few times.

EJ grabbed my shoulders. "Isn't this the blind leading the blind?" I asked out of breath.

"It is, but I know where I am and what direction I am going. Now, stand still and listen. Shift all your energy into your ears. What do you hear?"

I stood there quietly. After a few minutes I spoke. "Leaves, there is a tree to my right."

"Good, now, expand it further, what else?" EJ said quietly, hands still on my shoulders. I strained to hear in all different directions.

"Behind me, I heard a door open and…" I paused and listened again. "Tasha's voice, the gym. I'm going the wrong way."

"Very good." EJ complemented me. He turned me around then let go of me. I could hear my shoes making contact with the stone walk I was on. Someone walked passed me with strong perfume on. The sound of the fabric reminded me of silk rubbing against itself. I wondered if it was Tatiana. She was fond of silk. But I kept walking. I could hear Lissa grunting as she punched a dummy. Just then EJ stopped me. "Now, what do you smell?"

"Sweat, I'm assuming from the gym," I paused and concentrated harder. "Jasmine, lavender. It grows on the trellis with the ivy at the side of the gym. Its on my right side. I can hear the bush at my left. There's something rustling." I smiled, pleased with myself.

"Very good. And it's a squirrel that is rustling in the bush. Now let's head inside."

We walked into the gym and everyone went silent. "Okay." EJ said. "Let's see how you handle fighting Alberta. Remember, use your senses."

"I am five feet in front of you. Shall we begin?" Alberta said. I nodded and crouched. I heard her advance on me, but her fist made contact with my shoulder. I concentrated harder and realized I could tell she raised her foot. I felt the pressure in the air shift and I had a feeling her foot was going to make contact. I ducked then struck out with my fist and made contact with Alberta's thigh. I heard cheers from the bleachers and I knew I did well. Suddenly I could actually see where she was going, what she was doing. I could feel and hear all he changed as well. It was as if my intuition was showing me what was happening. Then another feeling came over me, it wasn't only my intuition. Someone was showing me what I could do and it wasn't Lissa, she wasn't here.

"Adrian." I sighed. Everyone went silent, all movement stopped.

"I'm here." I heard a whisper blow in my mind. I knew no one else could hear it, and they were confused as to why I had said his name. When his soul moved on, his spirit stayed and gave me a power I needed so much. I could do this, I would do this. And Adrian would help me.

I ended up "staking" Alberta, then EJ, Dimitri, and Tasha came up. In my minds eye I could see what they were doing. Tasha was using her magic as EJ and Dimitri were fighting me. I ended up being able to deflect all of them and take them all down.

I noticed through the bond that Eddie had brought Lissa in and she was so proud. EJ stood up and I took my mask off. "You did wonderful. I have never taught someone that picked this up so quickly. How did you do it?"

"A girl never gives all her secrets away. I have my secrets." I said to my friends snickering behind me.

"Well, whatever it is, it was awesome. You are definitely talented. We will continue with this training along with the rest." EJ said smiling.

"Well, why don't we all take tomorrow off? You all still need to run, but no combat. We leave for Russia in three weeks. We will be gone quite a while. We will be taking one to two days off a week until we leave. Get your personal affairs taken care of and be ready. See you all the day after tomorrow." Abe explained. Sometimes I couldn't believe this man was a dangerous man and my father. He always seemed do together. That so wasn't me and that didn't really fit the personality of a pirate-thug in my mind. But I loved him and I respected him. He always seemed to know what was needed. He also seemed to know exactly what I needed to become a better person and fighter. It was pretty cool.

The weeks passed with things just getting better. Lissa, Mia and Jill got better at punching, Lissa could hit pretty hard. Their running and endurance was great. My training got harder as the days went by, but my intuition helped wonderfully. I was able to deflect all the magic and beat all the guardian's almost all of the time.

The day to leave arrived and I was just getting the last of my belongings from my room when Tatiana came in. "Rose, I am going to miss you. I hope when you return you will consider teaching. I know you will carry out the journey and be successful. When you come back we will be able to rebuild the ranks and you will be an asset." She said.

"Well, let me finish this, and when I come back I'll let you know." If I come back, I added in my head. "Thank you for all you have done. You have no idea what you have done for me." I walked over to my nightstand and picked up the picture of Adrian and me. "Do you mind if I take this with me?" I asked.

"Of course dear. I wouldn't have it any other way. Please be careful and stay in touch. Keep me updated. If there is anything I can do, please don't hesitate to ask. You have all the resources you need." She offered.

I went to take my ring off but she stopped me. "Please keep it with you. Adrian would want it that way."

"Thank you again Tatiana." I put the picture in my carry on and went to hug her. "Thank you for everything." I said as I hugged her. I never thought I would ever be hugging the queen.

"Anytime Rose. Your room will be here waiting for you when you return." She kissed my forehead and I walked out of my room towards the car waiting to take me to the plane.

When I got to the car Lissa was waiting. We had to stop at guest housing to pick Dimitri, Eddie, Elli and Kori up. Another car was getting Mia and Jill and Abe had picked up Tasha, EJ and Alberta. I wondered how many people we would have joining us when we got to Russia.

Abe had a private jet that was very luxurious. All the seats were like first class, there was a huge screen that would play movies, and we each had individual screens at our seats and Internet hookups. We had about a twenty-hour flight so we would have three meals and anything you wanted to drink, you could have. The chairs lay down almost as flat as a bed so sleeping would be easier too. We were all excited to be flying in these kinds of accommodations.

Lissa was sitting with me to begin with and we were talking about Russia. She had been there twice before with Dimitri to visit his family and was telling me how much I was going to like it. We were meeting up with his family for a while. Supposedly his grandmother was some kind of witch or psychic and has some information for us. Also one of his sisters was joining us for the journey. I was nervous to meet them, but excited just the same.

We talked for quite a while then she went to sit with Dimitri and Tasha came to sit with me. "I won't keep you long, I am sure you want to rest. But I wanted to see how you're holding up."

"I'm okay. I'm nervous; I mean everyone is depending on me. What if I can't do it?" I was starting to worry about all of this.

"I have no doubt that you will succeed. And we will have plenty of time to prepare. That I promise you. We will not head into the lions den until we are all fully prepared." She assured me.

"When will we be meeting your nephew?" I wanted to change the subject. I wasn't planning on being in Russia for an extended amount of time, but it was starting to sound like this was going to take quite a while.

"Well, actually he will be meeting us at the Belikov house. He should be there now. He and one of Dimitri's sisters went to school together. He is a year older than you, and he and Sonya have been very good friends for quite a few years."

"Are they together?" I hated thinking I may be separating a couple, possibly killing one of them.

"No, they are more like family. Anyway, he'll be there when we get there. We will resume training in a few days. We all need to be able to work together like a will oiled machine."

"Well, I'm looking forward to it." It wasn't really a lie, I was looking forward to meeting everyone, but is was nervous at the same time. I looked at Lissa and noticed she and Dimitri were both asleep.

"Well Rose, I'll let you sleep." Tasha said and leaned her chair back and closed her eyes. I did the same and fell asleep quickly. I slept for about eight hours and woke up surprisingly refreshed. The stewardess brought us all breakfast, French toast and bacon, and we all ate happily.

I looked around at all my friends and everyone seemed oddly at ease. Maybe they were putting on a show. I hoped so. I didn't want to be the only one who had butterflies thinking about being in a foreign country and meeting new people who potentially may not like me. I was terrified.

The flight went smoothly and finally the pilot came across the speakers and said we were beginning our descent, it would be about ten minutes until we landed, then about an hour drive to the Belikov household. With thirteen people we needed two SUV's and thinking about that brought some anxiety. It brought up memories from the night Adrian died. I knew it had to be done, but I was not pleased. Couldn't they use a van or something else?

Lissa must have sensed my unease because Dimitri came back and sat with me, putting his hand on mine. "It will be fine. We will be on the road in daylight and my mom's house is heavily warded. They always put up wards when Lissa comes to visit." Of course they would seeing as she is the last Dragomir. The whole sunlight thing put me at ease some, but that nervousness was still there. "It will be fine Rose. Calm down." Dimitri said with a soft laugh.

The plane landed and we all stepped out into a beautiful sunny day. I closed my eyes taking a deep breath. The air was so crisp and fresh here looking around I could see sprawling fields of green, trees off to the side like a small forest, the small airport on the other side. The blue sky seemed to go on forever and in the distance, _very_ far away I could see a mountain range. I wondered if that was where we would be headed.

"Hey, there's Uncle Maks." Dimitri said pointing to the SUV's with a tall, dark haired dhampir standing next to the first one. Dimitri walked up to me with Lissa. "That's my mom's brother. He'll e driving one car and his wife, Aunt Anna, should be driving the other. They are both very respected guardians."

Sure enough a woman stepped out of the other SUV and she was a sight. She had long flowing red hair, she was tall, not quite as tall as Maks, and she was beautiful.

We all piled into the SUV's and headed towards Dimitri's home. I wasn't sure what to expect, but what I say when we finally arrived took my breath away.

* * *

**I hope you liked it. I will be introducing Christian in the next chapter as well as Dimitri's family. Please let me know what you think.**

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**


	10. Meetings

**Meetings**

**Sorry it has been so long since I last updated. I am in the process of moving and have had to dedicate the majority of my time to that. My updates this month may be a little spread out due to that. Hope you keep reading.**

**Richelle Mead owns all original VA.

* * *

**

We pulled up in front of a nice two story white house. I wasn't expecting a Dhampir community to look like this. I figured more of rundown houses, kids running rampant, children's toys strewn on the lawns. But this looked like a normal upper middle class community. All the houses were nice sized and actually really nice.

We made our way up the front steps, Dimitri and Lissa in front. The door opened and a cute Moroi girl, probably a year younger than us, come running out. "Dimka! Lissa!" She threw her arms around Dimitri and hugged him tightly.

_Obviously a sister?_ I asked Lissa.

_Yeah, Viktoria, the youngest._ Lissa said.

"Everyone's waiting. Let's go inside." We all walked in and it became quite crowded adding our thirteen to the six adults and one child that was already there.

"Everyone, this is Rose. Rose, this is Olena, my mother, Yeva, my grandmother, Sonya, Karolina, Viktoria, my sisters, my nephew Paul, and Christian, Tasha's nephew." Dimitri introduced them all and I nodded. All the Belikov's shared the same dark eyes and dark hair. Christian was a contrast. He had the same jet black hair and mesmerizing blue eyes as Tasha, he was tall, but extremely muscular, he gave all the Dhampir's a run for their money, and it was extremely uncommon among Moroi. He wore dark blue jeans and a black t-shirt that fit him well. His hair was short but kind of shaggy. His bangs seemed to fall just above his eyes and the sides framed his face. The back was shaggy, but only came to collar length. He was very good-looking. Karolina was the oldest, she was tall and muscular, brown hair down to her waist and a beautiful face. She was also Paul's mother. Sonya was the next one, she looked a lot like her sister, but her hair was only shoulder length and she wasn't as muscular. Viktoria was a year younger than us, she was tall and thin, but had curves pretty close to mine. Her hair hung to the middle of her back in soft waves. She looked a lot like her brother in the face.

"You guys must be hungry. I've made dinner and it's in the kitchen. I have all the rooms upstairs ready for you. Pavel and Abe are taking your bags to your rooms. Come on, let's eat." Olena said then turned towards the kitchen. Seeing all the food you would have thought it was Thanksgiving.

_She always cooks like this._ Lissa sent through the bond upon seeing me practically salivating at the sight of all the food.

I smiled. _Maybe I'll stay her after everything._ I said back. We both laughed and all of our new friends looked at us with odd expressions.

"Oh, you should probably know, Liss and Rose are bonded. They can talk telepathically." Dimitri explained. Everyone looked relieved to know we weren't crazy then went on his or her ways.

Everyone was talking and getting acquainted but Christian. He was quiet and stayed to himself. Tasha joined him and they carried on a quiet conversation. I took my plate and sat on the couch with EJ. I was still grieving for Adrian, but I needed to get my head in the game. I looked outside and noticed it was still sunny.

I finished my food then decided to go outside. "I'm going to go take a walk. I need to move." I said to EJ. He nodded and I took my plate in and threw it away then headed for the door and stopped, just looking around. Suddenly I felt someone walk up behind me. I didn't turn around, but I didn't recognize the cologne. Just as I began to turn, a hand was on my shoulder.

"You shouldn't be out here alone, even in the sun." I heard a low raspy voice. I turned and came face to face with Christian. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. I don't really like crowds and I saw you come out here, so I thought I would join you." He smiled. "If that's okay."

"Sure, it's fine." I said smiling.

"Come on. Let's go this way. There's a really nice little shaded park up the street. I brought Paul there yesterday." He said as he led me up a street.

We found the park and sat on a bench shadowed by tall, thick maple trees. "So, you're the one who's going to save us all?" He said sarcastically.

"Well, who else? I'm the only one with the guts to do it I guess." I was trying to match his tone. "But seriously? Yeah, I guess I have all the qualifications." I said in a more serious tone.

"Well honestly, you don't look like anything special to me. I guess I'll have to wait and see." He said snarkily.

"Hey, if all you're going to do is be rude and judgmental to me, then you can leave. I just met you and you're acting like a…like a Royal." I shot back at him.

"I'm nothing like those other Royals. I'm just being honest. I have this habit, bad habit according to my aunt, of being brutally honest. And that includes honesty about what I see. You're just…smaller than I expected." He shut his mouth.

"Well, big things sometimes comes in small packages. I can pack a punch. I guess you'll have to find out tomorrow. Now, tell me where you got all those muscles. They are rare among Moroi." I snickered.

"You like huh?" He said in a husky voice. I just smiled. I noticed that I did like the look of them. I had this weird feeling in my gut. I was finding that I was actually kind of attracted to him, but I just met him. It had to be purely physical.

"I began training when I was fourteen. I trained hard and learned all I could. I fought with instructors, mostly the dhampir guardians, but I practiced whenever I could. I studied hard and was even offered to take the guardian tests, but I passed. I just wanted to be able to defend my aunt and myself. I know she told you our story. She doesn't tell any one without me agreeing first. We don't have guardians, even though we are Royal, and we needed to be able to fight. We both carry stakes and I even have two _molnija_ marks." He turned so I could see them. "Do you have any?"

"Yeah, I got mine after St. Vlads was attacked. I have three." I turned and lifted my hair so he could see them.

"Cool, did they hurt? Mine stung like a bitch." He laughed.

"Yeah, they stung, but not much." I said. We sat there for a while just talking and telling stories. It was nice talking to him.

The sun began to set a little so we decided we needed to get back. We got up and walked up the street in silence. It was a comfortable silence, and I was enjoying not having to fill it with unnecessary chatter.

We got back to the house and everyone was out back sitting around and relaxing. Tomorrow we would start training with Christian and Sonya who would be joining us.

Viktoria came to sit next to me. "So, did you and Chris get acquainted? He's very nice. A little snarky, but he's cute and he's fun."

"We talked some. I just lost the love of my life; I'm not ready to look at guys like that quite yet. But, yes, I agree he's cute." I said.

"Well, not that my brother would allow it, but I would love to make a move for him. I have been trying for a while, but he just pulls away. Sooner or later though, I think he'll come around. I'm only two years younger than him. What do you think?" She asked.

"Hey, I'm not your brother, I just met you, but do what you want. I was never one to follow the rules. I was in love with an Ivashkov." Everyone knew the Ivashkov reputation and the fact that for the most part they were typical Royals. They stayed with other Royals. Adrian and I had broken that mold.

"Chris has been here off and on since he and Sonya became friends. He just seems like someone I could have fun with. He seems like a bad boy, and I like bad boys. I'd love to see more of him, if you know what I mean." She said with a wink. I suddenly didn't like the way this conversation was going.

"Just be careful. I don't know him, and I don't know what his character is like. Just watch yourself." I said and then walked over to Lissa.

"I know you hate it when I look at your aura, but what has you all riled up?" She asked. I was confused. I wasn't riled up about anything. At least I didn't think so.

"Nothing that I know of. What do you see?" I asked curiously.

"Well, when you came back from your walk you were okay, but in talking to Viktoria, the colors started going green, jealousy usually, and all murky. She obviously said something you didn't like. What'd she say?" She said as she pulled me away from everyone else.

"Nothing really." I replayed the conversation in my mind, trying to figure out what could possibly have changed my aura that much. "She's interested in Christian, although I'm not sure if her intentions are to get to know him or get to _know_ him."

"That's it. Your aura just spiked again. Are _you_ interested in Christian?" Her eyes popping wide with curiosity.

"No Liss, I'm not. I just lost Adrian a little over a month ago. I can't even comprehend being interested in anyone. He's nice, yeah, and he's good-looking but I barely know him." I said, not sure why she would think that. "I guess maybe I'm just concerned about her intentions, you know?"

"Mm Hm. Okay." She said while giving me a look like she knew something I didn't.

"Whatever Liss. Let's get back over to everyone else." We walked back over to the group and joined in the conversation.

We didn't stay up real late; we had to get up early to begin training. We were on a human schedule so sunrise would be coming quickly. I went to my room, which also belonged to Lissa, Elli and Viktoria. I settled into my bed and fell asleep quickly.

* * *

**Well, there you have it. The next chapter. Please let me know what you think. I will get the next one up as soon as I can.**

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**


	11. New Training

**New Training**

**Here it is, chapter 11. Sorry it has been so long, but moving is taking a lot out of me. I hope I haven't lost any readers, and I hope you all enjoy this. Don't forget to review.**

**Richelle Mead owns all original VA.

* * *

**

My dreams consisted of Adrian, like they usually did, but these were normal dreams, fuzzy, out of focus, sometimes confusing dreams. I was glad I dreamt of him, but they didn't do him any justice.

The night passed and I woke up to the smell of pancakes and sausage. I jumped out of bed and made my way downstairs. One by one everyone joined me in the kitchen and we all dug into the wonderful food.

"Well, are we ready to head to the gym?" EJ asked as he carried his plate to the sink. We all nodded and groaned in agreement as we finished our food. "Good, now go get changed and meet on the porch." He ordered. It was kind of funny how he took over the training from Abe.

I decided on a pair of black spandex Capri pants, my purple sports bra and my sneakers. I wore my hair in a tight ponytail/braid and headed out with everyone else. Viktoria was heading back to school in about a week, but she would be training with us until then.

We were all outside now and piling into the SUV's. Having fifteen people pile into two SUV's was interesting but we managed. It was like playing sardines, we were tightly packed, but we made it. I was sandwiched between Chris and Lissa. I practically had to sit on top of Chris.

"Sorry, I don't mean to squish you." I said apologetically to him.

"It's okay. I don't mind." He said with a smirk, as he looked me over. I felt my cheeks get warm, but wasn't entirely sure why.

_He likes you, I can tell._ Lissa said through the bond.

_Liss, he barely knows me. He just likes my body._ I said back.

_Who wouldn't?_ We both laughed at that.

Chris looked at me puzzled, then realization set in. "What are you two laughing about? It's not nice to have conversations when no one else can hear them."

"It is when we don't want anyone to know what we're talking about." I said smirking. I had a feeling I was going to like bantering with him.

We got to the gym and we all scrambled out of the vehicles. It was nice to have my personal space back. "How about we start with laps? See what the newbie's are made of." EJ said laughing.

We got on the track and began running. The Moroi had been running and training for a month and they were doing really well. I was especially proud of Lissa. She was keeping up better than I thought she would. I watched Chris, his stamina was amazing. He was doing just as good as the Dhampir's. He was in a pair of running pants and a white t-shirt. If it wasn't for the height he had on us he would fit in perfectly with the Dhampir's with his build and endurance.

After that we headed inside to begin the physical stuff. I put my blindfold on, that was the way I always trained now, and began sparring with EJ. We went back and forth for a while, but I was able to take him down after about a half an hour. I lifted my mask and noticed Chris watching. This was the first time he had seen me fight.

"You want to try it? I'll even let you use your magic as long as you don't let it touch me." I said as I flipped my braid over my shoulder.

"Sounds fair enough. Let's have some fun." Christian said, smiling wildly.

I took my spot on the mat and Christian stood in front of me. I put my blindfold on and his image came into focus. It wasn't a clear image; it was more of a negative image. He was like a white shadow against all black and the magic was a thermal image. He shot a series of fireballs at me that I easily dodged. Fire had a specific scent and even without the image I could feel the heat, letting me know where I needed to move.

Suddenly he shot a stream of fire at me and I managed to dodge it, then tackled him, pinning him beneath me. There were cheers all around us and I removed my mask, still pinning him down. My hands were on his chest and I could feel his chest heaving with hurried breaths. His face was only inches away from mine and I smiled, whispering, "Gotchya." I let my grip go and then offered him my hand to help him stand.

"You definitely got skills." He said as I felt his hand brush slightly across my back. When I tuned to look at him, he pulled his shirt over his head then used it to wipe the sweat that glistened on his face. His chest, back and arms were so defined. It was the first time I had actually found him attractive. I had thought he was good-looking when I first met him but that was different from being attracted to someone.

I was pulled out of my thoughts as Viktoria came up to me. "That was great Rose. I have never seen anything like it." I glanced back at Christian and he was talking to his aunt. "Christ did a great job too. How did you know where he was? I would love to spar with him sometime, but he keeps telling me that he's too skilled for me yet." She finally took a breath.

"He's probably right Vika. He's been training for a long time and he's really strong." I said.

"I know, but what I wouldn't give to have his body that close to mine." I could tell she was fishing for advice, but suddenly I just couldn't give it. I didn't want her to make a move on him. What was happening?

I looked over to the bleachers and saw my father sitting there. "Hey Vika, I need to go speak to my dad. Talk to you later?" I so needed to get away from her talking about what she wanted to do to Christian.

"Sure, later." She said walking towards Dimitri and Lissa.

I walked over to my dad. "Hey Dad, how's things going? You look tired." I observed.

"I am Rose, I'm not as young as you, but I'll manage. You look good out there. Is there nothing you can't do?" He said approvingly.

"Ha ha Dad. There's plenty I can't do, but I do have some mad talent in the fighting department don't I?" I know I was being conceited when it came to that, but it was something I knew I did well.

"Yes, yes you do. So, what do you think of Christian?" he asked. He was always curious as to what I thought of those joining the mission.

"He's nice. He'll be an asset to this journey. So, when's our next day off?"

"Actually tomorrow. I thought you guys could use a weekend off and we will be getting more intense in training. Maybe you guys can go out and have some fun. You all deserve it." He said smiling.

"Thanks Dad." I smiled back.

"Now, go finish the day. I'll tell everyone at the end." I got up and went to where Dimitri and EJ were talking.

"So, ready to spar some more?" I put my mask back on and headed to the mats where EJ, Pavel, Alberta, Dimitri, Elli and Kori surrounded me.

* * *

**I know it's not long, but I hope you all enjoyed it. Please leave me your thoughts. I haven't gotten very many and would love to hear what you think. I will also be working some on What Dreams May Come so stay tuned. Thank you for all your thoughts.**

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**


	12. A Night Off

**A Night Off**

**Here is the next chapter. It does have some Christian and Rose action, but not a whole lot. Nothing M rated. I hope you like it.**

**Thank you all for the reviews, I would love to see more.**

**Richelle Mead owns all original VA.

* * *

**

We circled and sparred until I took them all out. It was a lot of fun. After that was done, Abe stood up and call us all together. "Tomorrow is Friday so I thought you could all use a weekend off. I know I could." He smiled and the rest of us chuckled. "Take tomorrow and Saturday off. Go have some fun. We will resume on Sunday." With that we all headed to the locker rooms to shower and change before going back to the Belikov's.

The next day we had all decided to go to a few of the clubs. Dancing seemed a good way to let go. It was Dimitri, Lissa, Pavel, Tasha, Eddie, Kori, Mia, Jill, Viktoria, Sonya, Christian and I. Abe was driving and we all piled into one SUV. Sardines all over again, this time just more of us. Thank God this was an extended one. I sat in the back with Viktoria, Christian, Lissa and Dimitri. I was next to Christian and Viktoria was on the other side of him. Lissa was next to me. I couldn't help but notice how good Christian looked and smelled. He had on black jeans and a red button up shirt. I noticed that Viktoria thought he looked good as well. She was dressed in a sparkly silver tank top and a short black skirt with black heals. I figured she would get a lot of attention at the bar even though she was seventeen. Dimitri was not pleased with her choice of clothes. The age restrictions were different here. You could get in at sixteen and drink at eighteen.

I had chosen to wear a pair of dark blue boot cut jeans, black ankle boots and a black leather vest. It was sleeveless, showed some cleavage and my belly button. It wasn't sleazy but it would draw attention. I even had a spot to hide my stake inside my shirt. My hair was pulled up into a high wavy ponytail, I wasn't looking for a lot of attention, but I did like looking good. I did.

Just as I had noticed how good Christian looked, he seemed to notice me too. "Is your shirt genuine leather?" He asked, obviously trying to make some sort of conversation.

I smiled to myself. "Yeah, it was a gift from Adrian."

"It's nice." Then he went silent. Viktoria started talking to him trying to avert his attention to her.

"So, do I get a dance later?" she asked in a husky voice.

"Um…I guess so." Christian said, sounding really uninterested. Or maybe I just wanted him to be.

_He likes you, I can tell._ Lissa said. _And I can tell you're starting to warm up to him._

_I know Liss. But Vik's really into him. I don't want to cause problems._ I said back.

"_Yeah, but he doesn't like her like that. You can't deny yourself just because of someone else. It's been a over a month. If you have any feelings for him you should go for it. Dimitri thinks so too._

_I didn't think Dimitri liked him. Especially with Viktoria._ I said, suddenly curious.

_He likes Christian, he just thinks Viktoria's motives are not what they should be. And he's right._

I thought about that, but wasn't sure I was ready. We'll see I guess. We got the bar and found an area had been cleared with the Belikov name on it. Abe at his best. We all took our seats and ordered some drinks. Lissa, Dimitri, Eddie, Elli and I ordered a shot of vodka along with our beers. We toasted to Adrian and downed the shots.

"Let's dance." Lissa said above the music. All the girls headed toward the dance floor, holding hands through the crowds. Soon the guys joined us and we were all dancing in a huge group. Lissa and I had Dimitri sandwiched between us, but my attention was elsewhere. I was watching Viktoria trying to grind up on Christian. He kept trying to separate from her, but when he would get about a foot away, Viktoria would pull him back. Dimitri had noticed this as well and leaned up to me.

"Go rescue Chris, please?"

"Vik's gonna be mad." I said back.

"She'll get over it. You know you want to." He teased as he raised his eyebrow. I did want to. So I walked over to him.

I bushed my body up against his back and spoke in his ear. "Hey Blaze." He brought his hand up behind me and rested it on my upper thigh. "Thought you might need rescued." He turned and smiled at me and mouthed thank you.

"Hey Vik, Dimitri wants you." I lied. She rolled her eyes and walked away.

Chris turned towards me and wrapped one arm around my waist, starting to move in sync with me. He brought his mouth up to my ear. "I was hoping I'd get a chance to dance with you tonight."

"Oh yeah?" I smiled.

"Mm Hm." I sighed as that vibrated in my ear. I was enjoying being this close to him. Just then a slow song came on. "Want to dance with me to this then go outside for a breather?" He asked.

"Sure." He wrapped his arms around my waist and forcefully pulled me into his body. My arms went around his neck, my fingers in his hair at the nape of his neck.

"I'd like to get to know you better. What about you?" He said, his lips brushing my ear again.

"I'd like that." I said as I pulled back and looked into his beautiful blue eyes. "But I'm not one for one night stands like others are. Even if you are a royal."

"I'm not either, and I don't consider myself a royal. I'm just a guy that is dancing with a beautiful girl and is interested in getting to know her better." For some reason I believed him.

We danced the rest of the song then made our way outside to cool down some. He took my hand and led me to an empty area at the side of the bar. He turned towards me, pushing me up against the wall. He looked deep into my eyes, tracing a finger down from my hairline to my neck. "You are so beautiful." He said quietly as his hand lightly moved down my arm to my hip. I had my hand on his torso, keeping him from closing the distance between us. I was nervous, but realized how much I wanted to kiss him.

He grabbed my hand, putting it on his side at the band of his jeans and leaned closer. His lips were less than an inch from mine. I could feel the heat of his breath as his eyes roamed over my face. "Can I kiss you?" he asked quietly.

"Yes." I said, surprising not only him, but myself as well. He leaned in and lightly brushed my lips with his own. I put my hand around his neck, entwining my fingers in some of his hair. His next kiss was a little harder, but it was still sweet. I ran my tongue along his bottom lip and he opened his mouth slightly, touching his tongue to mine. Electricity filled my body as our tongues began to dance sweetly together.

Suddenly, it was like someone threw cold water in my face and a voice I did not know spoke in my head. _ You forgot about Adrian_. I pulled away from Christian and rested my forehead against his chest for a moment and then began walking away.

"Rose?" Christian said sounding confused. Which I guess was normal. I mean I was just kissing him and now I walked away without a word.

"I'm sorry. I'm just not ready I guess." And I ran back inside. When I got inside Lissa came running up to me.

"Rose, what happened? Are you okay?" She was frantic. She had obviously felt my emotions go out of whack.

"I don't know. One minute I was enjoying myself, then Christian kissed me, then I hear a foreign voice telling me I had forgotten Adrian." I said so quickly she couldn't even respond to my revelation of kissing Christian.

"What do you mean 'foreign'?" she asked me, ignoring the thing about Christian for now.

"I don't know. It just wasn't one that I recognized. I think I'm losing it." I put my hand on my face and let out a loud sigh.

"You're not losing it. But something's going on. I think you just got yourself too worked up. You won't let yourself feel anything for Christian because you feel like you are betraying Adrian, and this is your new defense. You are not betraying him. He would want you to move on and be happy." She paused and looked at me. "Do you want to leave?" I could feel that she wasn't ready to leave, but she would if I wanted to.

"No, we'll stay. I just need to get a drink and calm down." I smiled, just then Dimitri and Eddie walked up and I noticed Christian standing off to the side. He looked hurt and confused, and I wanted so much to go to him and tell him how sorry I was. Lissa interrupted my thoughts.

_We will talk about Christian later._ She said through the bond. I smiled and made my way to the table. I sat down and waited for the waitress. She came and I ordered a beer and a shot. Christian came just then and ordered the same, sitting down next to me. I hid my face, I felt so bad for the way I had just treated him.

"Rose, are you okay? I'm sorry if I pushed." He said. I could tell he was extremely sorry and confused.

"It's not your fault. I don't know what happened. If anyone should be sorry, it's me. I am so sorry to have acted the way I did. I guess I'm just not ready."

He pushed my hair away from my ear and leaned in. "Then we get to know each other, and when you're ready, I'm here. You make me feel things I have never felt before." His lingered at my ear a few moments then pulled away.

I tentatively nodded my head. I wanted so badly to get to know him, I wanted to turn my head and meet his lips with mine, but I was so scared. Just hen our drinks arrived as did Viktoria.

"What happened to you guys? I was looking for you." she said, but more so to Christian than me.

"Went outside for some air." I said. She smiled and then grabbed Christian's hand.

"Come on. Let's go dance." She said batting her eyelashes at him. Right then I wanted to punch her. I was glad she would be leaving for school in a week.

He looked at me and I motioned him to go. "Okay, let's go." He said then lifted his shot to me and we both threw them back.

How was I going to do this?

* * *

**I hoped you liked it. Rose is going to have to struggle a bit with the feelings she is having for Christian and her loyalty to Adrian.**

**It is never easy to lose someone you love with all your heart. It is so hard to move on and feel okay with that. But she also knows that her time could be limited with the path she is on. **

**Please let me know what you think so far, let me know what you think should happen. I love your opinions. **

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**


	13. Love or Something Like It

**Love, or Something Like It**

**Christian and Rose are getting closer. Will they make it? This chapter is about them growing and beginning to learn about one another. I hope you like it. It's just a fun chapter.**

**Thank you for all your reviews. Keep them coming. They keep me going.**

**Richelle Mead owns all original VA.

* * *

**

We headed back to the house after closing. I was exhausted. Given the events of the night, I still had a pretty good time. Christian and I danced a few more times, but that was it. I still felt so bad for the way I had acted and wasn't sure how he was going to react to me.

We all had tomorrow off, but I knew I needed to run in the morning. I settled into bed and fell asleep quickly.

My dreams were filled of dancing and of Christian. His smile, the way his arms felt around me, his blue eyes blazing with desire for me, his lips as they caressed my own. I remembered how I felt in his embrace. Then I heard Adrian's voice. "Be happy." That was the last thing he had told me. _Be happy._

I woke up earlier than anyone else, but the sun was up so I changed, grabbed my iPod and went out to run. Once on the porch I put my shoes on, strapped my iPod to my arm, and just as I was putting my ear buds in, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Mind if I join you?" Christian asked with a smile.

"Sure, why not?" We started running down the block. The breeze on my face felt great. My muscles loved the motions.

"So, you feeling better today?" he asked.

"Yeah, I guess so." We ran to the park where we went that first day. I was surprised to see some children playing already. We found a bench and plopped down.

"So Blaze, did you have fun with Viktoria?" I asked jokingly.

"Oh lord. She is insufferable. I mean she's nice enough, but she's so, I don't know, clingy? I just don't look at her like that. I've told her plenty of times, but she just won't give up." He sighed. He wasn't being mean, just honest.

"Yeah, she seems to like to push."

"Well, Sonya and I have been friends for a long time. The Belikov's have become a part of my family, they've replaced what I lost, and that's how I see her. She seems to think that the flashier she dresses or the more she flirts I'm going to change my mind. And I've told her it's not going to happen. She's just not what I'm looking for." He said as he looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes.

"What are you looking for? In a woman that is." I felt my face begin to flush and turned my face away.

He grabbed my chin and pulled my face around so I was looking at him. "I'm looking for someone who's strong, sweet, wants a future with me, sexy, fun, passionate, honest, sexy." As he said that last word his lips brushed mine. "I think I know someone who that describes." He brushed my lips again and my eyes closed.

"I don't want to hurt…Viktoria, or anyone else." I said as his lips traced my jaw.

"You won't. And I promise not to hurt you." This time his lips pressed gently to mine and I melted into him. The feel of his fingers in my hair, on my back, the taste of him on my lips, it all felt right.

This time I heard Adrian's voice again. "Be happy." And I knew I could be. I didn't know why this attraction had happened so quickly, but I was ready to follow my heart. It's only been two months since Adrian died, but being here in Christian's arms just felt right.

I pulled away breathless, but slowly. "Chris, I want to be with you, but I think it's best if we keep it between us right now. I just don't want anyone getting hurt." He smiled.

"Hmm, a secret relationship. That could be fun. Wouldn't Lissa know though?" He asked smiling.

"Well, I know how to block her, but that would make her more suspicious. I think she would. She'll be the only one." I kissed him again "Come on. I think we should get back. Everyone will wonder where we are. Maybe we can slip away later." I smiled at him.

"I may have a way." He got up and pulled me to him. "How did I get so lucky?" Then his lips crashed into mine and I melted again. We jogged back to the house and when we got there, breakfast was just finishing up.

Viktoria came up to me, pulling me into the kitchen to eat. "Where'd you go this morning? I woke up and you were gone. So was Christian." She said that with a little malice lacing her words.

"I went for a run and he caught up. Running in the morning always does me some good."

"Ah. Well eat up. Abe said he has something to tell us all. Well, you guys really, since I'm not really in the 'cool group'." She said with a small smile.

"Eat up dear. I have plenty more if you want it." Olena said then walked up to Christian. "Chris honey, you hungry? Dig in." she said smiling her motherly smile.

Finally we were done and Abe ushered us all into the front room. "We have been here for almost a week now, and it's time to give the Belikov women their house back. We will not be leaving Baia for a while, but I have acquired an office building that is being converted into a dorm of sorts as we speak. We will be having two more quests joining us soon and it is too much to have in this house. We won't be far, but we will all have beds and your own rooms. We will be moving in tomorrow." I knew he worked fast, but this was extra fast.

Next thing I knew Lissa was at my side. "We're going on a picnic. You, me, Dimitri, Chris, Eddie, Kori and Tasha, Tasha's really only coming so it doesn't look like you and Chris are together." She smiled slyly.

"You already know, huh? Eddie, Tasha and Dimitri can't know." I said, suddenly nervous.

"I know, I know. They won't, but it'll be fun. Chris said he knew of a park that's amply shaded so we can stay longer." I knew exactly which one.

"Sounds fun. I'm gonna go shower and change." She nodded and I headed up the stairs. I stepped in the shower and let the hot water run over me. All the tension and worry I had been carrying around melted away. I finished up and turned off the water. I stepped out and wrapped up in towel, it was then I noticed I hadn't brought clothes in with me. I put my ear up to the door and didn't hear anything so I grabbed my dirty clothes and opened the door hoping to run into my room unnoticed.

When the door opened Christian fell into the bathroom, as if he was sitting against it. He glanced up with a shocked look that immediately transformed to embarrassment. He stood up looking at the floor. "S-Sorry. I-I wasn't expecting…" he wasn't sure what to do or say.

"Its okay." I said, giggling nervously. "I forgot my clothes." I said as I slid past him, brushing up against him. I wasn't sure if it was an accident or if I did it on purpose. Maybe it was a little of both.

His face blushed and I smiled. "See you at lunch." He said as he shut the door and I took off into my room. I hurriedly changed into a pair of blue cut offs, a white baby doll tee that said, "bite me" on the front, French braided my hair and slid on my sneakers. Putting on some lip-gloss finished the look and I headed down stairs.

Lissa was in the kitchen with Olena. I walked in, picked up a piece of that black break that was so good and began munching on it. "So Liss, what's for lunch?" I asked, mouth full.

"Oh just some sandwiches, chips, macaroni salad and fruit. Is there anything else you want to bring?"

"Umm, some vodka?" I said grinning evilly.

"if you want." Olena said as she put the fruit in a container. She reached up and grabbed a bottle from the cupboard.

"I was just joking, but hey, I'll take it." She put it in the basket with six short glasses.

"Just don't come back hammered." Olena laughed.

"Yes Ma'am." Lissa and I said in unison. Just then Viktoria came in.

"Hey, where you guys headed?" She asked.

"Just to the park for a picnic." I said.

"Cool, care if I tag along?" I really didn't want her to.

"Don't you have some studying to do before you go back to school?" Olena chimed in.

"Yeah, but…"

"There are no buts about it. You will say here and study. End of discussion." There was no arguing with her. Viktoria hung her head.

"Fine." She muttered and stomped up the stairs.

"Christian doesn't need her drooling all over his food or trying to feed him." Olena said to Lissa. I smiled a little at that and turned and walked onto the porch where Yeva was rocking.

"Hello Roza. I've been waiting to talk to you. Do you have a few moments?" She asked in her frail voice.

"Sure." I sat in the chair next to her.

"I've seen where you are going. I've seen what you are meant to do. It will be a long journey, one that will change the Moroi world as well as our own." I knew all this. "You will need to be in possession of a blue diamond charmed with all five elements and with your blood. It will show you the opening of the Cavern of the Light. This is not just any blue diamond; it is a special one that is on display in a museum in Northern Siberia. Your father has the specifics. Obviously it will not be easy to get, but you must have it to find the cavern. That will be your first leg of the journey." She smiled and kept rocking.

"Will we succeed?" I asked. If she could see the future, she should know.

"I have not been permitted that vision yet, I don't know that I ever will, but I know you will be tested to your limits, you may not all make it back. Some very powerful Strigoi will try to stop you, obviously they do not want you to succeed, and they do know you are coming. I am sure they have been training just as you and your friends have. That is all I know."

"Thank you." I guess. I was surprised at the information she had given me. Was I going to have to break in and rob a museum? Not something I wanted to do.

Lissa, Dimitri, Eddie, Kori, Tasha and Christian came out the door just then. "You ready Rose?" Tasha asked.

"Yeah, let's go." I turned back to Yeva. "Bye Yeva." I said politely.

"Good bye Roza."

We got to the park and found a nice spot and sat down to eat. We talked and laughed while we ate and I relished in the fact that Christian and I got to sit so close, and no one but Lissa was the wiser.

"So Chris, I noticed my sister has a thing for you." Dimitri said. I was surprised it hadn't come up before now. "You interested?" He raised an eyebrow.

"No, she's like a little sister. At least that's how I look at her. I'm already seeing someone anyway." He said with a smile.

"Oh yeah? Who is she? What's she like?" Dimitri asked. I suddenly was very nervous.

"Well, she's someone I haven't known very long. We're just getting to know each other. But I miss her every moment we are not together. She's absolutely gorgeous, strong, sweet, funny, intriguing. Maybe I'll introduce you guys to her some day."

"Well, it could be a while. This journey is going to take some time." Eddie added. He and Kori were holding hands smiling at each other; I didn't think they were even paying attention to us.

"Well, maybe she'll come visit?" Tasha asked, then smiled at me. She was too observant for her own good.

"Yeah, maybe." Christian said smiling.

"Blaze, why don't we leave these two loving couples alone and go shoot some hoops or something?" I asked.

"Okay, Aunt Tasha, you wanna come along?" he asked.

"No, you guys go and have fun. I'm going to walk down by the river and watch the ducks."

"Okay, be careful." He replied as we got up and grabbed the basketball and headed in the opposite direction.

When we got far enough away I stopped and pushed Christian against a tree. "You know your aunt knows, right?" I said, poking him in the chest and trying to sound irritated. He grabbed my wrists and quickly spun me around so my back was now up against the tree.

"I know, she can read me like a book. But she won't tell anyone." He said then leaned in and kissed me passionately. I smiled against his lips. He pulled away and stared into my eyes. "You know, you are so irresistible."

I gave him my best seductive smile. "I know." Then I broke away and started off toward the courts.

We played a few rounds then went to sit on the ground. "You know, once we're in the 'dorms' we'll be able to sneak around even more." Christian said as he poked me in the ribs.

"Hey, that tickles, and we'll still have to be careful." I said smiling.

"Why? Are you ashamed of me?"

"No, I just don't want anyone talking down to me. I've been through a lot in the last few months and I don't need any grief from anyone." I said in all honesty.

"I know. I'm sorry, but I don't think anyone will have a problem with it." I looked out over the court at nothing. "Rose, I won't hurt you if that's what you're thinking."

"That's not what I'm thinking. God Chris, I'm scared. I'm scared that if I let myself fall for you one of us won't come back. I couldn't handle that." I went to push up off the ground. He grabbed my hand and stopped me.

"Is that what this is? You're scared that if you let yourself love someone else, you'll lose them? Rose…"

"Blaze, stop. You don't know what it was like." He looked at me with hurt in his eyes. "Okay, maybe you do, but still. A part of me died that day. I don't know that I can go through that again. And you can't promise me we'll both make it out alive." I said as tears threatened to escape my eyes.

"All the more reason to live now. If I learned one thing from my parents, that's it. Live each moment as if it were your last. It could be."

"He's right you know." Tasha appeared out of nowhere. "You can't deny yourself the option of being happy just because something _may _happen. That's like living life while you're asleep." Man she sounded so much like Adrian.

"I'm so scared." I said quietly.

"And I will do everything I can to take that away." Chris said then leaned in and gave me a light kiss.

* * *

**It's not all roses for them from here, but there is something. I hope you all liked it. Please review and let me know what you think.**

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**


	14. Misunderstandings

**Misunderstandings**

**I know, I know, it's been a long time. Moving sucks! It seems like it's taking forever. **

**Anyway, here's the next chapter. I hope you like it.**

**Richelle Mead owns all original VA.

* * *

**

We decided not to tell anyone yet. It was best if we left it as is. The rest of the day we spent in the park, all of us enjoying the freedom that came with being in the park. We got to act like little kids again. Swinging, going down the slides, playing basketball, we even tried the teeter-totters, but that proved to be not such a good idea. But it was fun.

We finally decided to head to the house, figuring it was closed to dinnertime. Olena had dinner ready; we all got some meatloaf, potatoes and carrots and took our seats at the table, on the floor, on the porch or wherever we could find a spot. After dinner I was exhausted. But we still had to go to the new dorms. We grabbed our stuff and headed to the SUV's. We said our goodbyes to the Belikov's for the night, we would be back for dinner tomorrow, Olena insisted.

The building was huge. But to house our fifteen and the two newbie's that were coming the next day it would need to be. The first floor was the shower rooms, one or the girls and one for the guys, which had four showers each, and the cafeteria, which Abe said would have a cook starting Monday. The second floor was the girl's rooms, we each had our own room, the third floor was the guys room and the fourth floor was the rec room, well floor actually. There were pool tables, three TV's with DVD players and video game consoles, four dart boards and two ping-pong tables.

The rooms were all the same; each had a queen-sized bed, a small kitchenette and a bathroom. The bedding was just solid colors, but that didn't matter. We each had a dresser, a couch, a nightstand and a few small tables here and there. But it was great. At the end of each hall was a huge balcony we could use whenever we wanted. We each made our way to our own rooms then went exploring everyone else's rooms.

When all of our exploring came to an end I made my way to the showers. If I thought I was tired before, I definitely knew I was now. The water caressed my body like cascading waterfalls. The smell of my lavender soap enveloped my senses and melted any stress I had away. Finally as the water began to cool I stepped out and put my robe on, then ventured back to my room. I could feel from the bond that Dimitri was in Lissa's room so I just continued around the corner and right into Christian's chest.

"Damn Blaze, do you have to keep sneaking up on me?" I said sarcastically.

"Geez Rose, if I thought coming to see you would get me this reaction, I'd do it more often." He sounded a little annoyed.

"Sorry, I just hate being snuck up on." I said quietly.

"Well, if you had been looking up instead of at your feet you would have seen me. I wasn't trying to sneak up on you." he sounded snarky.

"I said I was sorry." I said as I opened the door to my room. "Do you want to come in?" I asked smiling apologetically.

"Well, when you look at me like that, of course I do." He smiled.

We walked in and I grabbed my pj's and headed into the bathroom to change and brush my hair. I emerged in a pair of boxers, a tank top and my hair in two braids.

"Ooh, the school girl look. I like." Christian said. He had on a pair of black silk pj pants and a white wife beater that hugged his muscles. I walked into my "kitchen" to make some tea.

I lifted up the kettle. "Want some?"

"Is that all you're offering?" he said seductively in my ear as he came up behind me.

"Ha ha. Right now? Yeah, that's all I'm offering at the moment." I said as I sat the kettle on my two-burner stove. He sighed and turned around to grab two cups out of the cupboard. I turned around and brushed my hand across his lower back.

"At the moment." I whispered, then heard him intake a deep breath. I went over to my bed and plugged my iPod into my system and began playing Parachute's album. Once the tea was done, I poured us both a cup and we made our way over to the couch.

"So did you get settled into your room?" I asked.

"Yeah, I see you haven't even unpacked yet?" he said laughing, looking around at the boxes and bags.

"Nope, I'm a procrastinator when it comes to house work."

"Guess that means I'm gonna be the 'house wife' in this relationship." Laughing, I punched him in the arm.

"You know, forgive me, but when we are alone I can only think of one thing." He said.

"Yeah, what's that?" he reached over and took my tea, setting both cups on the table, then turning back to me, bringing his face mere inches from my own.

"Kissing you." he leaned in and kissed me lightly.

"Mmm." I moaned against his mouth then allowing his tongue to explore my own. The taste of him was unbelievable. I pulled myself closer to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. I was enveloped not only by his arms, but his scent and his taste. I couldn't imagine being anywhere else but here at this moment.

He shifted and suddenly I was on my back and he was hovering above me. He had one hand on my hip and the other was moving up my leg. My arms were wrapped around his waist with my hands under the fabric groping at his skin. It was like velvet beneath my fingers.

His lips traveled down my jaw to my neck where I could feel him graze his fangs across my skin. I stiffened and he pulled back.

He noticed my movement and looked at me. "Rose, I would never…"

"No, no, I know, it's just, um…Adrian." I paused; I wasn't sure how to explain it.

"Adrian drank from you?" he said, clearly surprised.

"Oh God, yes, I know, it's disgraceful."

"Disgraceful isn't what I was thinking." He sat up slowly.

He had a confused expression on his face and I figured he would want to leave. Dhampir's allowing Moroi to drink from them, especially during anything sexual, was highly looked down upon. I had never told anyone but Lissa that I had allowed Adrian to drink from me.

"You don't have to stay." My heart was breaking. "I know it's looked down upon. But for us, it was a way to be close that we didn't have with anyone else." I explained, or at least tried to, but I knew his perception of me was changing.

"Oh my God, Rose, no, I don't think badly of you. It's just…that…it's so intimate. It creates a bond, forges a stronger love. I don't want to take that away from you. It also shows great trust between two people." He trailed off as if he was in a different place. I wasn't real sure what to think. I was usually open about Adrian, but this was different. I don't know what possessed me to tell Christian about it now. He stood up and ran his hand through his black hair. "I think I better go."

"Chris, wait." I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He wrapped his around mine as well. "Please don't go. We should talk about this."

"Yes, I agree that we should. Please know that this by no means changes the way I feel about you, but I need to think." He leaned down and kissed me gently. "I'll see you tomorrow." I smiled a small smile and he walked out the door.

_Way to ruin the moment Rose._ I thought to myself as I climbed into bed and felt a few tears drop out of my eyes and roll down my cheeks.

**Christian POV**

I felt bad for leaving like that, but I had to. The temptation to drink was just too much. And knowing that she had done it before wasn't helping my situation. It only meant that she wouldn't be opposed to the idea. But, I wasn't ready to take that bond she had with Adrian away just yet. But as I walked back to my room the image of my fangs sliding into her skin and the taste of her sweet blood flowing down my throat was so vivid. I hurried to my room and quickly shut and locked the door. I knew that if I drank her blood in this specific circumstance, our feelings would be magnified. I wanted to know that the feelings we shared for each other were because we loved each other, not because of taking her blood. I needed time to calm myself down, it had actually turned me on, and I needed to talk to Aunt Tasha. She knows what it's like and she would be able to help me figure out how to approach the subject with Rose without sounding condescending. I didn't want to push it, and I wanted to be sure that Rose felt the same way as I did.

* * *

**There it is. I hope you liked it. I wanted to show that Chris wasn't turned off by Rose's confession but was trying to protect her. **

**Let me know what you think.**

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!  
**


	15. What Do I Do Now?

**What Do I Do Now?**

**Here is the next chapter. It is not as long as the others, but needed. I will update as soon as I can. My move is almost complete and I will be transferring my internet to my new place, and that could take a while. I will update as soon as I can. Thank you for continuing to stay with the story.**

**Richelle Mead owns all original VA.

* * *

**

I woke the next morning groggy. Lissa was banging on my door as soon as I sat up. My head pounded from crying all night and my mind was a jumbled mess. I opened the door and by judging from her expression, I was a mess to look at.

"What happened?" she said as she pushed her way in.

"I don't know Liss. I really don't know." I said and lay back down on the bed, curling my knees almost to my chest. I recounted the events that took place the night before and tried to make sense of it.

"Why did you tell him? You know how people look at that. I mean, I've bit Dimitri, but I never told him about Adrian and you, and he has no idea you know about him and me. Did Chris end things?"

"I don't know. He said it didn't change the way he felt about me, but that he needed time to think. How am I going to face him today?" I was a mess.

"Easy, you're going to get up, shower and go to the track. Just treat it like you would any other gossip. I don't think he'll tell anyone."

"I hope you're right Liss." I got up off the bed, grabbed my clothes and we headed for the showers. The water didn't do much this time except rinse the soap and shampoo off my skin. I dressed then Lissa and I headed to the gym.

We walked in and I saw Chris and Tasha talking in the corner. I guess hiding our "relationship" was going to be pretty easy. He didn't even look up or flinch when Mia called out my name.

"Abe just said that he has two more acquaintances coming in today. Any idea who they are?" Mia asked excitedly.

"No idea. I haven't talked to my dad about the newbie's. When will they be here?" I asked.

"Some time later this afternoon. He didn't say for sure." Mia said, and then scanned the room. "Looks like we're ready to start. EJ's looking for you I think." Mia motioned to the other end of the gym. Sure enough Eddie nudged EJ and then motioned me over.

"Hey, what's up guys?" I asked, trying to sound cheerful.

"Nothing much, but we need to start. First Rose, Eddie and Dimitri." EJ said then stepped away.

We sparred for what seemed like hours. We also got in some staking time and practice with the Moroi. When we were finished it was nearly dinnertime and Christian was walking towards me for the first time today. He paused as he watched everyone else file out the doors of the gym.

"Hey Rose, how about some one on one? We can talk some." He grinned evilly.

"Umm…sure I guess." I wasn't sure what he was up to. "Blind or no?" I asked.

"No, I want to see your eyes." We began circling each other. I swung out and he dodged. It was almost like he expected it. "I'm sorry about the way I left you last night." He said as he took a swing at me.

"Yeah, well you should be." I kicked out at his legs and knocked him off balance, but he recovered quickly. "You talked about it as if you had done it." I said as I punched out at him again.

"I haven't, but my sister has." He shot a fireball at my head and I ducked down, it missed me by a few inches. " I know what it can do from her." He came closer and tried to grab my arm. He managed to twist it behind me, but I flipped him over me, onto the mat attempting to pin him. As he came down, he knocked my legs out and pinned me instead.

Both of our chests were heaving with fast and heavy breaths as he hovered above me. "If you know, then why did you react the way you did?"

"I care about you. A lot. And I don't want to be the rebound guy, but I also don't want you to be with me because of my bite. I want you to be with me because you want to be." His hold on me finally loosened and as he set up to his knees, he pulled me up to him. We were face to face and all I wanted to do was grab him, close the distance and press my lips to his.

"I want that too." I said as I looked into his crystal blue eyes, closing the distance between us. Suddenly, instead of his lips on mine, his lips were on my forehead.

"No rebounds. Before we venture into a physical relationship, you have to be 100% sure it's not a rebound. I can't take another broken heart." He said as he pulled back. I found that a little surprising, but didn't want to ask just then. "I think I'm falling for you, but _you_ need to be sure."

I nodded my head an then he helped me up from the floor. We walked back tot the dorm hand in hand, but silent.

I knew about the bond that could be created by a bite, of course I did. Adrian had explained it before he bit me the first time. Yes, it was a taboo among our races, something dirty. But as Christian had said, it was extremely intimate. It showed great trust between two people. And then there was the bond. When a Moroi drank someone's blood for sexual purposes it created a connection. You could see into the other's heart and your partner could see into yours. It wasn't a bond like Lissa and I had, but it made the love stronger, the commitment deeper. Unless a Moroi was feeding, their bites were very sensual. I didn't completely understand why Chris had reacted the way he had, but I was glad he understood the reasoning behind it. And that he seemed to know I wasn't an addict.

I was brought out of my thoughts when my phone began to ring. It was Abe. Everyone was meeting in the cafeteria to meet the new arrivals. We arrived and everyone but Mia and Jill were there. When they finally arrived, Abe introduced up to the two people sitting with him.

There was a guy and a girl, and they were human. Why would he involve humans?

"Everyone, this is Sydney and Zane. They are alchemists and will be assisting us on this journey." Sydney was average height, thin, shoulder length blonde hair and hazel eyes. She was cute. Zane was taller than Sydney, built well, sandy blonde short hair and dark blue eyes. I was curious as to what they would be assisting with. Abe answered my question as if he could read my mind.

"Sydney and Zane will be helping us acquire some items we will be needing and helping with the plans. They are two of the best alchemists we have and will be with us to the end. Any questions?" he scanned all our faces. "I expect you all to treat them as you treat each other."

* * *

**I wonder what will happen next? Any thoughts? I hope you are all enjoying this, and thank you again for sticking with me. **

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**


	16. Fighting Demons

**Chapter 16**

**Fighting the Demon**

**Here is the next chapter. I am so sorry it has been so long since my last update. My grandfather has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and has been brought home for the time that remains. I have been helping my grandma with his care and running errands. I hope that you all understand. I haven't found much time to do much but take care of my daughter, help out with my grandparents and then sleep. I hope you enjoy this. I will try and do two chapters today. Thank you for sticking with me.**

**Richelle Mead owns all original VA.

* * *

**

The next few weeks went by in a blur. The two alchemists surprised us all with their fighting skills, they were just about as good as the guardians. Chris and I spent time together, but nothing exclusive. I was still working out all the feelings I was having, not sure I wanted to have them. Sydney had taken a liking to Chris, despite the apparent fear and animosity the alchemists had toward anything vampire. Zane and Elli were spending a lot of time together as well.

Viktoria had reluctantly gone back to school although she begged to stay, but Olena wouldn't allow it. She flirted with Chris all the way up until the last day she was home. As she was getting ready to leave, she pulled me into a bear hug, whispering in my ear. "I like you Rose, I really do. Have fun with Chris, I know you like him. But when I get back I will give you a run for your money." She smiled and walked out the door. _Oh well._ I thought.

As trainings went on and then on our time off, I noticed Chris and Sydney spending more and more time together. Maybe he had decided to move on after all. But who could blame him? I was the one holding out, but that didn't mean I had to like it.

Lissa and I sat down to lunch one day and the conversation took a turn towards my non-existent love life. She was never one to keep her thoughts to herself so I figured I was in for a long conversation.

"Rose, what's going on with you? You have completely pushed Chris away. Are you ever going to admit that you have feelings for him?"

I just shrugged. I was so afraid of loving someone and then losing them. I didn't think I could go through that kind of pain again. I still missed Adrian so much and I didn't want to bring that baggage into a new relationship.

"Rose, you're going to lose him you know."

"I know, I know. I just can't seem to do it." I glanced over at the table where Chris sat with Tasha, Syd, Zane, Elli and Sonya. "I may have already lost. And it would be all my fault."

"Well, you need to follow your heart. That's all I can tell you." she paused to take a bite of her pasta. "Hey, we're all going out tonight since we have tomorrow off, you game?"

I thought about it for a minute. "Yeah, I need to go shopping first though. Wanna come with me?"

"Sure sounds fun." We finished eating and made our way back to the gym. As we walked out of the cafeteria Olena came out of the kitchen wiping her hands, she had insisted on cooking for us, smiling.

"See you all for dinner."

"Bye Mom." We all said in unison. We were just a big family here. Olena as our mom and Abe as our dad.

Training was normal. Sometimes it was almost monotonous. After we were finished Lissa and I headed for the mall. I wasn't sure what I was after, but I knew I wanted to push some limits. We went to Victoria's Secret were I bought black lace lingerie. We headed out to another store and I was browsing the racks when a red shirt caught my eye. I had a black mini skirt and black knee high boots I was planning on wearing and this shirt just matched the outfit perfectly. Those limits I wanted to push were going to break tonight. I knew deep down inside that I was asking for trouble as I took the red button up shirt off the rack, inspecting it. It was made of a beautiful see through gossamer, and was so soft to the touch. It was perfect. The black lace bra I bought would look perfect under it.

Lissa walked up to me and looked the shirt over. "What are you up to Rose? That could get you into trouble."

"I just want something different. Sexy. That's all."

Lissa just shrugged, knowing that when I got in this kind of mood, there was no talking to me. We returned home and I headed to my room to get ready. After I showered, I rolled my hair in curlers and did my makeup. As I was putting my lipstick on, I looked in the mirror and flashed back to a time Adrian and I were getting ready to go out.

_Adrian came out of the bathroom dressed in black jeans and a light pink button up shirt. His hair was it's usual deliberate messy style, and the smell of sandalwood drifted into my nose. I had my hair up and was putting on my lipstick as he ran his lips across my bare shoulders. _

"_I love you, you know." He said smiling._

"_I know." I said as I turned my head to reach his lips._

_He smiled as he broke this kiss and headed to the bed where my outfit was waiting for me. It was a short pink slip dress, not one of my favorite colors, but it was what he wanted me to wear that night. _

"_Why can't I wear my red dress like I had planned? Red looks better on me anyway." I said with a fake pout._

"_Because I look good in pink and it is a Valentines Day party and everyone will be in red. We want to be different." He said with that sly smile of his and his green eyes gleaming._

"_Oh fine." I got up and walked over to put the dress on. He helped me zip it up and then turned me around to face him. _

_His finger traced the outline of my bottom lip. "I will love you forever Rosemarie Hathaway. Always." He leaned down and kissed me gently._

_I pulled back and looked him in the eye. "I will love you until my last breath. No one but you."_

_He smiled, then got a serious look on his face. "Don't make promises you may not be able to keep. The sun may shine on us now, but that may not be our destiny."_

Coming back to the present I thought about that. At the time I thought it was just another one of his ramblings that he got from time to time from his use of spirit. Now I saw the whole picture. I wasn't sure I was ready to fall in love with someone else yet. I wanted to fill that hole in my heart that was made when Adrian died. I just wasn't sure I should want to be happy like that twice in my life when some people never get the chance once. Maybe that's what this outfit and pushing the lines was all about. Wanting something other than love to be the reason I felt anything again.

I finished up, letting my hair fall down my back in curls and looked myself over in the mirror. I looked sexy, bordering on sluttish. I definitely was going to have the attention of the males, possibly even the women.

My door opened and Lissa walked in. "Damn Rose. You know how to go all out don't you?" she said with a smile. "You do look good though."

"Well, thanks for the vote of confidence. I just want to let loose."

We headed to the door and I pulled Adrian's leather coat on and we walked to the cars.

When we arrived at the bar I checked my coat and got a reaction from the guys. Their jaws bounced off the floor and their girlfriends were not shy about slapping them. It was pretty comical.

Just then Christian came up to me and whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. "What are you trying to do Rose? Are you trying to get into trouble?"

"God Blaze, lighten up. I'm just wanting some fun. That's all." I said with a seductive smile.

"Well, you can do that with a few more clothes in place you know. You're going to draw the wrong crowd."

"Then I guess you either better stay close or not look." I said as I walked towards the bar. I saw Sydney walk up to him and I turned my attention to the bar.

_Chris doesn't want her like that. He wants you, only you. You're heading down a very destructive path. I am not going to stand around and watch it._ Lissa spoke through the bond, and it kinda pissed me off.

_Then don't watch Liss. I didn't ask for a babysitter and I can take care of myself._ I said and then headed to the bar, ordered a shot of tequila and looked at the dance floor. I headed that way, found a spot and let the music start to flow through me. People came up and danced with me, men and women alike, but I didn't really notice them. I was imagining dancing with Adrian, and suddenly it was just the two of us and he was there, I could feel him in my arms.

"Rose," Adrian laughed. "What are you doing?" he said as his gaze traveled my body.

"Having fun." I said back.

"Rose, this isn't you. you're punishing yourself. Christian wants you for you, not your body or sex appeal. Although, you look incredibly sexy, but this isn't the way. Give him a chance, take the risk. Remember what I said, be happy. You deserve it." He placed a kiss on my forehead and disappeared as the other people around me came back into focus.

_I swear, I'm having a breakdown. _I thought as I walked off the dance floor and headed for Lissa's table.

"I'm leaving." She got up. "No, you stay. I have to do something alone, then I'm going to my room. Just wanted to let you know." She nodded and I headed to get my coat and call Abe to come get me.

After Abe dropped me off, I decided to take a walk. It would be a while yet before everyone returned from the bar. Thoughts and memories of Adrian and my life came rushing back as I looked up at the sky. The dawn was just coming and it was the most beautiful site. The reds, purples, oranges, yellows, so peaceful. I found a bench and sat down, just thinking about what I should do. I loved Adrian so completely and I wasn't sure I could love anyone like that again. But I knew I had to try. After a little while I got up and made my way back to my room.

I grabbed my paper and pen and wrote a quick note to Chris. _I have been waging a war in my head and heart for a while. Here it is. I want you. I need you. I can't go another day without you. I hope you haven't changed your mind. I will be waiting up for you. –Rose._

I hurried to his room and taped it to his door, then returned to my room. I changed into my sweats and a tank top, made some coffee, turned on some music, then settled down on the couch with one of my few books. I wasn't sure how long I would have to wait, but I would wait all day if I had to,

About an hour later there was a knock at my door. I opened it to searing blue eyes, black hair and his hand gripping the note.

"What is this?" he asked, not sounding very happy.

"Well, it's a note." I said matter of factly. I moved so he could come inside. "I think it's quite obvious what it is."

"Cut the crap Rose. Why now? Why tonight? he was fuming.

"Why not? Did you want me to wait until tomorrow? Or at least later today as the case may be?" I was getting pissed. "Maybe so you could get some from Sydney then be able to get some from me?" at that he grabbed my shoulders and forced me to face him.

"She's a friend. I don't look at her that way. Is that why you did this?" his breath was getting heavy. "I meant, why tonight? When you look like this, when you were doing everything to get my attention? You already had it. All you had to do was say the words." He put his head down and began walking to the door. "I just want to hear the words." His hand was on the knob. I wasn't sure what to say.

* * *

**I hope you liked it. Please let me know what you think. **

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**


	17. Feeling Again

**Chapter 17**

**Feeling Again**

**Here is the next chapter. Sorry I didn't get it up the other night, didn't have the energy. I hope you enjoy it.**

*****Lemon*****

**Richelle Mead owns all original VA.

* * *

**

I put my hand on Chris' shoulder and his chin fell to his chest. "Wait." I said in barely a whisper. He turned his head so I could see the side of his face over his shoulder. I could see the conflict he was fighting in the lines of his face even though his eyes were closed. He wanted me to admit what I felt, but he wasn't sure I could, so he wasn't sure I if he should just leave. I struggled with the internal fight I had been fighting for the last few weeks. "Please don't leave. I want you. I need you."

Slowly he turned around and faced me, eyes still closed. They opened slowly. "Why? Why do you need me?" he asked quietly.

"I think…I think I am falling in love with you." I wasn't sure what he would say to that. Was he ready to hear that confession?

His eyes seemed to flash even brighter blue, if that was at all possible, then a smile slowly crept onto his face, brightening his features even more. "That's all I needed to hear." His hand went to the door and he locked the door, then turned back to me. There was a pause in his movements, then his hand was at my neck pulling me to him and his lips crashed into mine.

The next thing I knew he had lifted me up off the floor and my legs wrapped around his powerful waist.

He broke the kiss and leaned back. "I love you too." He said, then carried me to the bed and gently laid me down. "I have loved you since the first day I saw you." he bent his head down and gave me a gentle kiss on the skin showing under my tank top. The feel of his lips on my skin sent fire through my veins. It had been so long since I had felt this.

His lips then ghosted over my collar bone then to my neck as his hand rested at the hem of my shirt. My hands were tracing the muscles of his back then stopped at the bottom of his shirt. I pulled it up and he pulled it over his head and tossed it to the other side of the room. His body was so strong and muscled, I couldn't wait to see it in all of its glory. The power he held beneath his skin was so immense I couldn't wait to see how he used it with me.

He ran his hand along my stomach, taking things slow. We both wanted this to be perfect. He pulled my shirt up over my head then settled his weight on top so the skin of our chest was touching. The fire that burned between us just felt so right. His hand traveled down my side, making my breasts begin to swell with arousal. I could feel the length of his arousal through his pants and against my stomach. I was nervous, but I knew that I wanted him. The next thing I knew he was on his knees, removing my sweats, all the while just staring at me with a small smile. Soon I was completely unclothed and he started down at my body. He began undoing his belt, then stopped. I raised my eyebrows in a question as to what he was doing. Had he changed his mind?

"You are so beautiful." He said as he leaned down and gave me a deep kiss. His scent and taste filled me and I knew this is where I was meant to be. He sat back on his knees and continued to remove his pants, which he laid next to the bed. "I love you so much." He said as he turned back to me and we commenced the kissing. My hands traveled all over his body, just relishing in the feel of his skin beneath my fingers.

Chris's hand reached down and ran up the outside of my leg as the other traveled to my breasts. They were aching for his touch and he began massaging one, then pinched the swollen bud. I let out a little giggle at the sudden sensation then his mouth replaced his hand. The sensations he was sending were unreal. My back arched in pleasure as his hand made contact with my core that had been waiting for him in any way he saw fit. The burn I felt needed to be sated and I just wanted to feel him. My hand traveled down his chest and rested at his hip as I contemplated what I wanted to do next.

I wrapped my hand around his throbbing erection and he let out a groan at the touch. I smiled at the thought that I could make him make a sound like that by just a touch. His hand was at my core, massaging the bud between my folds, causing heat to course through my veins.

He pulled away from my breast and leaned over the bed then produced a condom. He looked at me as if asking permission to continue. I smiled and arched my back into him letting him know I was ready. He slowly slid the condom into place, then settled his weight gently back on top of me. "If you want me to stop, just say it and I will. I never want you to do something you aren't ready for." I nodded and he started kissing me again.

His knee pushed my thighs further part and he settled in-between, and the tip of his erection pushed at my core. Slowly he pushed inside of me and we both let a groan at the erotic contact. I smiled slowly as he began moving slowly inside and I brought my leg up around his hip. My hand traveled the expanse of his back and arms, and my lips were on fire with his on mine.

"Christian." I moaned into his ear. He felt like a second skin at this point, and I didn't want it to ever go away.

His pace picked up some and I could feel that he was getting close. My stomach began to tighten and I knew my own release was only minutes away. "Rose, I love you." he breathed in my ear.

"I love you too." I said back and he smiled. My breathing was heavy and I began to moan with each thrust of his body into mine. Suddenly it was like I was seeing stars as my body flew over the ledge and within seconds, Chris was joining me. His pace was erratic but it felt so good as his body lost control and he slammed into me.

He slowed his pace and looked into my eyes. Taking a piece of my hair and removing it from my forehead, he smiled. "That was…" he paused.

"I know, beyond words." I finished for him.

"Yeah." He said breathless. He rolled over so he was lying next to me and wrapped me tightly in his arms, kissing my temple gently. I ran my hand up and down his arm. I was still amazed at his skin and muscles and how much I desired this man.

"It's getting late. Someone might notice I'm not in my room." He said as he held me against his chest and I heard his heart beating.

"I don't care about that anymore. I want you to stay. I don't want you to leave." I said, then leaned up and gave him a deep but gentle kiss.

He pulled back and stared into my eyes. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"This is amazing, isn't it?" I asked, staring into his beautiful blue eyes.

"And it'll only get better." He leaned over and kissed me, then we both drifted off into a deep sleep.

* * *

**I know it is only a love scene with Christian and Rose, but I hope you liked it. I felt that after the time they spent apart I owed then a wonderful love scene. I hope you all liked it. The action and preparation for the journey will pick up soon, probably next chapter.**

**REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**


End file.
